


Share House

by mari02



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Family, Friendship, Gen, Unbeta'ed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-02-27 19:22:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 25,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18745483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mari02/pseuds/mari02
Summary: Ryo is a struggling artist who also works at the convenience store three blocks away from his home. He's determined to give his parents a decent house before he kicks the bucket. So, even if it's against the rules in his small Tokyo apartment complex, he decided to rent out his home studio for two people to live with him. Ohkura, a guy trying to rebuild his life after a failed relationship and financial loss takes the upper bunk. Two days later, a runaway from Osaka, Daiki, pleads for a lower rent as his cash is running low. Not used to sharing a house, the three of them are forced to pretend to be distant cousins even though they barely speak to each other. Until they're left with no choice but be there for one another...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anyone except the plotline. This fic may contain medical inaccuracies as I can only consult Google to make it as realistic as possible.

Ryo opens his eyes as his right hand try to reach for his alarm clock. He knows he hadn't had enough rest as he was still wide awake at 4 AM. But he doesn't have a choice. It's either he takes another sick day, or say goodbye to his work at the convenience store. He's already lucky that his boss, Murakami-kun, doesn't have the heart to report his poor attendance. But he wouldn't be surprised if soon, he'd ask him to stop coming. He isn't much use after all. He's stopped becoming the charming clerk high school girls and middle-aged ladies complimented three months ago.

The cupboard is almost empty aside from the small bottles of condiments. He takes the soy sauce and poured it on the leftover rice from last night. He's skimping on a lot of things, lately. The doctor opposes salty food but if he doesn't have much soy sauce to pair with his rice to begin with, would it really affect his failing heart badly? If he doesn't have to, he won't eat. Appetite even for his favorite karaage and mayonnaise seems to have left him months ago. He chews silently, remembering what he had to do to save more money ASAP.

Complex rules be damned, he will be renting out what used to be his studio. He can very well paint in his own room after all, if he would just be neat with his things for once. He ordered a bunk bed that's expected to arrive on Sunday. And if luck is on his side, it will be just in time for when his new flatmates arrive if he lists his home today.

He's not an angel, but this is Tokyo. Everything is expensive so 40,000 Yen per bed per month shouldn't be too much. After all, he's got a clean house. His mother kept it clean from her last visit. Also, he's got a washing machine and a balcony if his housemate would be a smoke. Not that he likes it, but he's preparing himself for annoying traits of people he's have to live with in exchange of money. So, 40,000 Yen it is. Fair enough. Because from the life he has lead so far, everything comes with a high price.

He posts the details, promises that there will be a bunk bed in two days. Then, he takes a quick shower without heater even though it's beginning to get a lot colder. He is about to leave for work when he gets a notification from an interested tenant who happens to be in the area.

"May I visit the place in 30 minutes? Need to move in ASAP."

Ryo coughs. Today is not so bad after all. He messages his boss and tells him that he will be coming two hours late.

Now, he has to make sure that what used to be his art room is nice, clean and empty for its first visitor. He picks up an old paint brush and puts it at the back of his pocket. He hates strangers, but he has ran out of options.


	2. Chapter 2

Ohkura said he'd be at the apartment within 30 minutes. But he couldn't help but get a quick smoke. His hands are sweating. He really doesn't like meeting strangers, but he doesn't have much choice. He's decided to stop imposing on Maru, so he needs to get a new place. 

"40,000 Yen? And I will be sharing this with another person? Are you sure it's the last price?" he asks Ryo.

"Take it or leave it. I have a washer and dryer. There's a balcony where you can smoke, too." Ryo looks at him knowingly. He reeks of smoke. He knows that. But he can't help it when he's stressed.

He looks around. The place is quite neat, anyway. He doesn't mind having to take the stairs to the second floor, too.

"You also have to pretend that you're my distant relative because we're not allowed to allow strangers to rent here." 

"I say that little information there needs at least 5,000 yen off my bill?" Ohkura raises his eyebrow.

Ryo sighed. He started taking his jacket and angled for his keys. "I missed two hours of my work today to let you come and see this place. If you don't agree with my rules, then I don't think we need to discuss further."

What a brat, Ohkura thought. He doesn't like this guy that much, especially his 'couldn't care less' attitude. But damn, he's desperate.

"Fine. Can I move in tonight?" he inquires.

Ryo stops and stares at him piercingly. "I'll be here at 10 PM. 1-month deposit, three months advance. All in cash but a cheque dated today is fine. The bunkbed arrives on Sunday. But I can lend you my extra futon for two nights."

"Deal."

-

Ryo didn't expect Ohkura not to have that much stuff. But he's not complaining because it's not like they live in a mansion anyway. As soon as they entered, he asked him to use house slippers and blurted out additional rules in his place.

"Slippers indoors. Smoke only in the balcony. Keep the bathroom clean every after use. Turn off the lights when not in use. You can use the things in my kitchen but never leave unwashed dishes. I'm not a neat-freak, but I don't want to start seeing cockroaches or bugs in my own home. I loathe them."

Fine by me, Ohkura thought. 

"Ohkura was it?"

"Tadayoshi."

Ryo nods. "One more thing. I don't really like it when people meddle with my business. I won't meddle with your life. But in case someone asks, you're a cousin from Aomori. My aunt's son from her second marriage. Clear?"

"Crystal."

Ryo takes that as his cue to get to his room. He opens the door. But before Ohkura even opens his, he heard Ryo again.

"I forgot to take the payment. You can place it on the table. The utility bills will be equally divided, by the way. The cycle starts every 2nd of the month. I'll start charging you by then. I'll take the futon out in a bit."

-

Ohkura stares at the ceiling. He can't believe he's going in his mid-thirties and he still shares a place with a stranger. But maybe, if he listened to Maruyama and didn't sign up for that joint account, he would at least have enough money to get a more decent place. Tough, he was stupid.

It's not like he hates this Ryo guy. It's just that; he's more closed off than he is. And he's not used to that. He's always been the quiet type of guy, but people around him carry the mood; like Maru and his silly jokes. He misses Maru. But he can't be around people who are worried about him anymore. It's suffocating.

He thinks about work. He needs to come back on Monday after a three- month leave of absence, and he's not looking forward to that. He invited everyone in the agency after all. How was he supposed to face them all? And how in the hell does a person who investigates people's secrets got fooled by a woman?

It's such a shame. Really.

-

Ryo deposits the cheque the next day. Looking at his checkbook makes him happy. Somehow, his savings have recovered from his recent hospital trip. If only he could sell a few more paintings in Yasu's shop, things would be better.

"Ryo-chan! I haven't seen you in ages. Are you alright?"

Yasu is probably his only friend here in Tokyo. He's not a people person and making friends would definitely mean more expenses, so he tries to minimize his loses. But Yasu is like the big brother he never had. Aside from helping him sell his works, he's the only person he calls when his own body betrays him.

"You're looking pale today. Did you come back as the doctor told you?" Now, this is one thing he doesn't like about him. He's too concerned. And he can read his mind all the time. There are no telling lies to Yasu because he always knows the truth. Sometimes, Ryo wonders why Yasu bothers to ask him if he knew anyway.

"You know, Ryo. It doesn't make sense to me. It's so sweet of you to do what you're doing for your parents. But don't you think you're too hard on yourself?" Yasu looks like he's about to cry and Ryo can't take to see the look of disappointment on his face.

"I'm fine, Yasu. Quit worrying. Any good news on my piece? I'm starting on another one, but work keeps getting in the way." Ryo tries to change the topic, and Yasu humors him.

"Well, what kind of friend am I if I won't' deliver good news? Really, Ryo. You are amazing! Here, look!" he cheers him up, and Ryo feels his lips curl. It's the first time he's smiled in weeks.

-

"Please please, can you lower it to 30,000 Yen? The location is perfect, but I don't have much money anymore to fill the deposit and advance payments!" This kid is annoying, really. He's told him so many times already that his rate will never change, but he won't budge.

"Or give me at least two weeks to pay for the rest of what you need. No one will know I'm not really your cousin at all! Your secret is safe with me!" he says, maybe a little too loudly. Then Daiki smiles.

"You don't want the association to know about your dirty little secret, do you?" 

And now, Ryo thinks, how many more mistakes he's capable of doing in his lifetime.


	3. Chapter 3

"Don't tell Ohkura about our deal. Settle the rest of your payment by the end of the month, or I'll kick you out of here." Ryo whispers as they enter his house.

  
"Ohkura-kun?" Daiki is grinning from ear to ear, much to Ryo's annoyance. He's caught off guard. He really shouldn't have told that little detail about pretending to be relatives unless the kid was sure to stay. Such a smartass. He wonders if this would be the last time that he'd have to worry about this. He's not very friendly with the neighbors, either. So, he needs to be careful around his housemates else he'll suffer the consequence.

  
"He's the one you're sharing the room with here. He took the upper bunk so you'd have to stay at the bottom one. I've told you all the rules. Now be nice and bother him instead of me," Ryo points Daiki to the other door and opens his own.

  
-

  
Ryo should be happy. In two days, his listing was filled, and he's a few hundred thousand yen richer. But he can't help but miss his mini studio. He hasn't painted in days, and he knows he really needs to get something done soon.

  
His medicine needs a refill in a week, and his insurance can't cover everything for him. So, he needs to work his ass off to survive. He's so damn tired these days. Sometimes, he just wants to sleep and never wake up.

  
Why is he putting up with this?

  
His phone rings and he remembers the reason.

  
"Okasan," he greets. He doesn't notice it but his voice changes when he's talking to his parents. He misses his mother so much although she'd just visited him from Aomori last month. It was a close call after all.

  
"How are you, Ryo?" his mother gets it to the point. "Have you talked to the doctor already?"

  
Ryo nods even though his mother can't see him. He hates that this is all they talk about these days.

  
"Why don't you just come home, Ryo? Please? Your father wants to see you, too," she pleads.

  
Ryo wants to tell her that he wants to come home. He's wanted to abandon his dull life in Tokyo and live peacefully in Aomori for years. But he simply can't. He's been here for five years, and he still hasn't met his goal. Whenever he gets to take a step forward, he's forced to take two steps back. The only thing he's done so far is to have this sorry excuse of a house in Tokyo.

  
"I can't just leave here, Okasan. I'll try to come home next month, okay? Please tell Otosan," he says.

  
He hears his mother mumble a "but" when he feigns hearing the bell ring "Ah! Someone's here. I'll call you back, Okasan. Sorry."

  
He drops the line and picks up his paintbrush. If only he didn't miss that opportunity two years ago, things would have been different today.

  
-

  
Daiki knocks and carefully opens the door. "Good evening. I'm Daiki. Ohkura-kun? I'll be your roommate."

  
Ohkura sits up and mumbles a "yo." He's not as snob as Ryo-kun, but he doesn't look all chatty, too.

  
He's starting to unpack when Ohkura goes down the ladder and stares at him directly. "I know what you did to Ryo. I mean, I'm not fond of that guy, and I had only met him two days ago. But that's not nice."

  
Daiki looks like a deer caught in headlights.

  
"But come to think of it, he's kinda an ass. Pretty obsessed with money if you ask me. So, I won't tell you off as long as you don't cross me. Understood?"

  
Of course, Daiki could only nod. Both his housemates are pretty scary, but it's not time to be a brat. If he pushes it, his luck might run out.

  
For now, he's going to be a good boy. Bedspace settled, tomorrow he must find work.

  
-

  
Ohkura walks to his office, black coffee in his hand. His workmates immediately notice his comeback. They have this particular look on their faces, and he knows what that was for, alright. He wants to spit his coffee but that would be rude, and he's not like them.

  
"Yo, Ohkura." He hears Yoko's voice. They aren't exactly the best of friends, but they get along at work just fine.

  
"I've got a case for us," he waves a folder and points Ohkura to the war room.

  
"Is the new case about the runaway bride slash scammer?" someone teases. Ohkura doesn't bother to look at the person's eyes because he knows who it would be.

  
"Shut your mouth, Koyama," Yoko hisses. Ohkura moves along as one of them whistles. He shuts the door loudly.

Yoko is not the type to intrude in other people's life. But the look in Ohkura's face got him concerned.

  
"You know you can't help me get any work done if you're not in your 100%, right?"

  
He looks at his senpai and nods.

  
"How about we go discuss this assignment over some..." Yoko eyes the cup in his hand "coffee?"

  
-

  
Ever since that fateful day, people seem to be walking on eggshells around Ohkura. But not Yoko. He questioned him why he never ran after Mika when she went off with another man with all his money.

  
"That's ridiculous," Ohkura finally speaks after his third beer. "She could very well take all the money she wanted. But I'd always wonder about how those five years meant to her."

  
It's right then and there where Yoko realizes that Ohkura still lives in the past and that makes it harder for him to move on.


	4. Chapter 4

Ryo wakes up to a loud thud on the floor. It's 2 a.m. for Pete's sake! He opens his bedroom door only to find Ohkura on his knees. The guy is definitely drunk. "Oy, Ryo. Help me up," he says.

  
Luckily, Daiki also opens up his door. "Help him," Ryo says. Daiki looks a little confused but obeys anyway. Ohkura smells of smoke and alcohol. It isn't pleasant. But he wants to go back to sleep right away so he should just get over with it.

  
"But he can't climb the upper bunk this way!"

  
Ryo only looks at him, folds his arms, and turns around to get back to his room.

  
"No way you are sleeping in my bed! You stink! Stay here, and I'll get your blanket."

  
He pushes Ohkura onto the sofa and stomps back to his room. So, is this what it feels like to be the youngest? Is he expected to carry on the tasks the elderly asks him to do? Sometimes, he misses his home. It's where he's an only child, and everyone does what he asks them to- at least before he discovered his parents secret. But what the hell? It's not like these guys are family anyway. What was he thinking?

  
He takes off Ohkura's shoes and goes back to his bed. He really should be able to find work tomorrow.

  
-

  
"Fuck!" the loud curse jolts Ohkura awake. Ryo is pissed. And he is pissed at him, judging by how tightly he's holding onto his collar.

  
"What the fuck did I do?" Ohkura is clueless until he notices the huge canvas on the floor covered with his vomit.

  
"I'm sorry! It was my fault! I left him here because I didn't want him to sleep on my bed!" Daiki steps in between them, trying with all his might to break Ryo's grip.

Ryo's face is red with anger. It almost looks like he's hyperventilating and would pass out any minute. Both Ohkura and Daiki waits for him to lash out, but he keeps his mouth shut. Instead, he walks back to his room and closes the door. For a moment, Daiki thinks, the door is going to break.

  
"I must have knocked it down when I woke up earlier." Ohkura's tone isn't as arrogant as before. It's either he isn't fully awake yet, or he's feeling guilty. He just ruined Ryo's painting after all. The guy must be living off with arts and that convenience store stunt. Everyone knows how many artists struggle with money and he's added Ryo's burden by doing this. He really shouldn't have drunk that much last night.

  
"Do you think I can still clean it up?" He asks, but Daiki can only shrug. He knows nothing about paintings.

  
"I think it's safer to bring it to a professional. But not that guy," he points at Ryo's direction.

  
Ohkura looks at the shut door and hears a weird sound coming from the room.

  
"Eh? What's that?" he must have said that out loud because Daiki answers "I think he has asthma. He was so angry. His lips were almost turning blue earlier."

  
If Ohkura wasn't feeling guilty earlier, he is, now. Maybe that's the reason why Ryo rented his space out. He needs more money for his medication — poor guy. And asthma at such age? Maybe Mika was sick, too, and needed the money?

  
"Hey?" Daiki pulls him out of his thoughts when he shoves the canvas to his face, his dinner last night spoiling the floor. "I'll tell him you're getting this cleaned up. I think he's calmed down because he turned the machine off. But you got to do something about this." With that, Ohkura leaves the house without even brushing his teeth.

  
-

  
When Ryo comes out of his room, he refuses to acknowledge Daiki's presence. He just walks straight to the bathroom and back to his bedroom again. A few minutes later, he leaves the house wordlessly.

  
Daiki tries to understand the man. But he's not having fun with all the drama brewing in this house, either. So, instead of sulking, he goes out in his most decent clothes to start hunting for a job. Seriously, he can't live with his remaining money. And he doesn't want to go home yet. Doesn't even want to think about it.

  
-

  
Daiki finds a job opening at a convenience store three blocks away from home. Nice. This will do. Working at a convenience store doesn't seem so bad at all. Murakami-kun said that he could immediately start tomorrow. Great!

  
So, after treating himself to a bowl of ramen near the complex, he finds himself humming happily while he takes the stairs two steps at a time. But just as he turns to get to his unit, he sees Ryo sitting at the bottom of the next set of stairs.

  
Ryo immediately notices him and stands up. "Ryo-kun, are you alright?"

  
Ryo nods and makes his way to their home.

  
"Oh, where do you work again? I also got a job in a convenience store three blocks from here! I start tomorrow!"

  
Ryo snorts "I was fired."

  
Daiki's eyes widen. "Ha? Could it be?" He lowers his head.

  
"It's fine. It's bound to happen anyway," Ryo says before walking straight to his bedroom.

  
-

  
It's dinnertime and Daiki's cooking omurice for everybody. It's not really like him to do things like this. But he wants peace and order. He thinks that they should at least release the tension in the air and start anew.

  
Daiki feels a little guilty for taking Ryo's job, too. But come to think of it, it's not his fault. And Ryo didn't look like he's holding grudges against him. He's just naturally grumpy.

  
Ohkura came in a few minutes after six holding the canvas painting which apparently survived his puke. He's thankful he didn't eat curry last night or else he'd be hopeless.

  
"Here," he hands Daiki a can of beer as he flashes a smile. "Thanks for earlier. Ryo would have probably bitten my head off if you weren't there."

  
Daiki can't believe it. Is Ohkura-kun a friend now?

  
"Are you going to take it or not?" Daiki almost snatches the can.

  
"Sorry. Thank you, Ohkura-kun."

  
"You're a good kid; you know that?"

  
Daiki smiles. If he only knew how selfish he really is.

  
Ohkura doesn't seem to mind that he didn't answer him. "Is he here? I need him to judge if they've cleaned his work just fine."

  
The younger man turns the stove off as he's about to answer when they both hear a thud louder than last night.

  
Ohkura's eyes widen, and he immediately runs to Ryo's door. "Ryo?" he pounds at the door.

  
No answer.

  
"Ryo-kun are you okay?" Daiki is starting to panic, and Ohkura decides to break the door. Daiki feels the color leaving his face. Not again.

  
"Goddamn it, Ryo! Daiki, call an ambulance, now!"

  
Ryo's down on the floor, holding a bottle of medicine that seems never to have reached his tongue.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Haneda-sensei is a woman probably in her early fifty's. She doesn't look pleased to see strangers with Ryo. But she tells them that she appreciates them telling her that her patient's apparently using nebulizers. Ryo knows it's not going to help him, but she has a stubborn patient to deal with, so it's not really surprising.

"So, he doesn't have asthma?" the younger of the two asks. The older one says he's figured since Ryo should have probably outgrown such illness at this age. "What is it, then?"

For a moment, Haneda-sensei thinks it would be better to let them know what they're dealing with here. But she knows how Ryo is going to react if he knew she blurted his medical history into strangers. And the sight doesn't look good at all.

"I'm sorry, but Nishikido-san's made it clear to never discuss anything about this matter to anyone except his mother," she bows. "But I want to thank you for calling in the ambulance. He's fine, but he has to stay for the night. A nurse will be coming in to check him from time to time, and I'll see him again tomorrow."

Ohkura and Daiki look baffled with all this mystery. But they're not relatives, so none of them can complain.

 

"Just please," the doctor turns "if you can convince him to take extra care of his health, I'd really appreciate it," before leaving the room.

-

To be honest, Ryo's tempted to take the taxi. He's so tired. He wants to sleep in his bed, but the cab is expensive. So, he's taking the train two hours after waking up in the hospital. Haneda-sensei would hold him hostage if she could. But it's his life. It should be his choice if he wants to leave this hellhole or not.

"But aren't you supposed to stay at least for the night? That's what she said earlier!" Daiki catches up with Ryo. He signed an Against Medical Advise waiver and left the hospital with his two housemates in tow. Ohkura offers to take the cab five minutes into walking to the train station, but Ryo pretends to hear nothing as Daiki continues to rant.

"Please, Ryo-kun. You have to stay the night!" he pleads as if his own life depended on it. They're about to enter the subway entrance when he decides he's finally had enough of Daiki's voice.

"I can't afford it, okay!" he shouts, and Daiki looks stunned. Ohkura only follows them silently, but that's not exactly what he expects to hear from him.

"But we just gave you our rent money! Surely, you would have spared something for your medical expenses. I don't know what exactly is wrong with you because Haneda-sensei won't tell us a thing. But you can't just be reckless like that!"

Ryo looks frustrated. He's tired and stressed, and they still need to travel for thirty minutes to get home. "You don't understand. I simply can't afford it. I was just back there two months ago and it sucked me dry! Do you have any idea how expensive treatment, is? So, leave me alone, okay? I have a friend who helps me with these things, so you don't have to worry. But If you really want to help me, then do what I say. Never call an ambulance on me because that shit's expensive. So, please, leave me alone."

When Ryo finally turns back to the station, Ohkura grabs Daiki's arm and shakes his head. "Let him be. It's okay." he mouths. Daiki looks defeated but stops bothering Ryo anyway.

"We could be his friend, too, you know?"

-

Daiki has always had it easy. He comes from a wealthy family after all. He's never really cared about money until he ran away from home and cut all ties with his family and even friends. He used to get everything he needed without having to worry if he's really working hard in their family business or not. But these days, he's starting to appreciate the value of every yen he spends. How much more for someone like Ohkura? Especially Ryo?

He still doesn't understand the guy, though. Why did he have to be a jerk to them? And he's mad because they sent him to the hospital? What kind of thinking was that?

"Daiki," Ohkura's apparently still awake like him. "Were you scared?"

Scared would be an understatement. Daiki remembers his mother, also lying on the floor with a bottle of sleeping pills in her hands. It used to happen a lot when he was a kid- until his mother stopped being his mother at once. These days, she's only crying and looking for someone who isn't him. Sometimes, he thinks, it's like he never existed at all.

"I was scared shitless, too. But it's not like we can blame him, right?"

"I just wish…" Daiki stutters. "I wish he would let us in. I know we're not really supposed to mind each other's lives. But we can't turn the other cheek when we know he's in the next room dying, can we?

"Yeah," Ohkura mumbles. "You're not wrong at all."

-

Ryo wakes up early the next day to withdraw money from the ATM. It's Daiki who he sees first, and he doesn't look like he's pleased to see him. Ryo understands. He feels the same way when he looks in the mirror, too.

"I'm sorry. I don't think I can take in anyone to live with me. I'm returning all your money. You can stay for free for the next few days until you find a new place to stay." Ryo bows and offers an envelope to Daiki.

  
  
Ohkura enters the living room holding Ryo's painting. "What is this?"  
  
  


"He's kicking us out," it's as if Daiki's grown up overnight. "You can't just kick us out. You're not supposed to let us in in the first place. Remember?"

"I know. I'll deal with that," Ryo stares at him.

"I can pay my balance at the end of the week. Do you think it's easy to find a new home? Are you that small-brained that you only think of yourself? I'm not leaving this house unless I want to, okay? You can't make me leave even if you double that money." Daiki leaves without getting the envelope. Ryo doesn't bother coming after him and makes the same move to Ohkura instead.

"Please," he pleads.

Ohkura feels for Ryo, sure. But somehow, this Daiki kid worries him, too. And he's right. It's not easy to find a new place let alone a cheap place like this.

"I'm staying, too," he says. He places the painting on the table and looks at Ryo intently. "I know we're not supposed to meddle with other's business. But that kid was scared, you know? We didn't sign up for this, and now he's emotionally invested in you. If you've told us this would have happened, then we would have acted the way you wanted! And Daiki's right. Do you honestly expect us to leave you alone like that? You're an asshole!"

Ryo doesn't try to argue because he knows there's no winning here. They are right. He's an asshole.

"If you don't want anyone worrying about your stupid ass, then why don't you take extra care of yourself, to begin with, ha? But if you can't. At least let that kid in because he cares for people around him. Don't be a jerk."

Ohkura shuts the door and starts walking down the stairs. He can't believe he's said all of that. Ryo's a stubborn jerk, but he feels like everything he just said must have been told to him a long time ago, too. Who is he to talk about letting people in when he's also been complaining about people suffocating him?


	6. Chapter 6

Murakami-kun is a nice man, save for the fact that he had to fire Ryo because of his poor attendance. Apparently, he's been covering for him for the past two years. But the upper management found out about it and ultimately, he had to fire him. "I worry for that guy. He only has Yasu here, right? I think he's the only friend he has in Tokyo."

Daiki's ears perk up. "Yasu? I didn't know that he has a friend here. Back in Aomori, he didn't have many friends, too."

"Ah! So, you're from Aomori, too?" Daiki nods.

"Yes, I'm his cousin. A distant relative, actually. So, when I came here, I asked Ryo-kun if I could stay with him."

"As expected from Nishikido. That guy's really nice. He just rarely shows it."

"Really?" Daiki never really thought someone would complement Ryo, especially behind his back.

Murakami-kun nods. "Well, he's your relative. Shouldn't you know?" He raises his eyebrow and shrugs.

"You, too. You look kind as well, I mean. Maybe it's within the family? But you don't look like someone who would work in a convenience store, you know? What was your work in Aomori, anyway?"

Daiki is officially caught off guard. He hasn't really prepared for questions like this- especially now that he's working for someone one of his housemates know.

"Well, I used to help out in a small restaurant. But then I decided to try my luck in Tokyo," Daiki prays his story is convincing enough. A lot of people think highly of life in Tokyo after all.

"Ah. I see. Well, that's one thing your cousin hasn't told you. Life in Tokyo is hard. So, I say work hard, alright? Work hard, and you'll be fine. Well, mostly," Murakami-kun pats his shoulder and walks towards his office.

Daiki couldn't agree more to what Murakami-kun just said. He's struggling, too. After all, he has been sheltered all his life. But now, he is on his own. He wonders how long he can take this. How long will he have to make his family worry? That's if they ever cared about him at all. Tokyo is big. But coming here is not exactly the best decision for a runaway like him. In his defense, his feet brought him here for some reason he doesn't know yet.

-

Finally, Ohkura agrees to meet up with Maru after leaving his home. He knows his friend is trying to keep a distance. But he also can't help but do something when Ohkura's mother keeps bugging him. That's what happens when you let your friends meet your parents.

"Well, you look good," Maru says which prompts Ohkura to roll his eyes. He doesn't know when he started, but he found himself telling Maru about what's happening in his new home. Maru listens until Ohkura finishes.

"That's what makes Ohkura Ohkura, doesn't it?" Maru smiles while Ohkura remains perplexed.

"You always see the goodness in people- may be a bit more than that Daiki kid. And I must say that it's a good distraction for now. But this isn't a case you have to solve, you know? You don't have to worry about other people's problems when you have your own to deal with."

Ohkura knows that. Of course. He also knows that his mother might show up anytime during this conversation. And she's here. Standing by the window, waiting for Maru's exit.

"Sorry, Ohkura. Your mother worries just as much as you do about those guys you met five seconds ago." With that, Maru leaves, and Ohkura nods at his mother.

It's been a long time since he last saw her and he'd be a hypocrite if he won't say how much he wants to cry. He apologizes non-stop until his mother tells him that everything is okay.

He'll do it his way. No one's going to meddle with his decisions. But when the time comes that he's back to his old self again, he has to call and hug her.

-

Thanks to his people skills, Daiki was able to find Yasu through Murakami-kun without him noticing it. So, right after his work's done, he hurries to the small art gallery along Omotesando and looks for his housemate's friend.

The gallery is smaller than he imagined, but it looks fancy as hell. Daiki couldn't believe that the painting that has been restored would be hanging on a wall with a ridiculous price. Of course, he doesn't look like he's going to buy anything from the shop. But for some reason, he knew that this guy he asked is actually the one he was looking for here. He inquires why the sign doesn't seem to bear Ryo's name at all and Yasu instructs him to wait till he gets off work.

"So, Ryo-chan doesn't know that you're here?"

Ryo doesn't and he never will. Daiki knows he shouldn't go as far as this, but he can't help it. Why is money so important to Ryo that he chooses to neglect his health? Really, he just doesn't want to be sitting in a police station because a body had been found rotting in the house he's been living in. That's all.

He doesn't expect Yasu to trust him. But he is just as worried for his friend that he blurts out almost all his secrets. Ryo's here in Tokyo making art for well-known artists instead of making his own name. Daiki remembers the price tag at the gallery when Yasu tells him Ryo only receive not even half of what the store earns. Two years ago, he gave up on his dreams because he wants to make enough money to buy back his parents' house in Aomori as soon as possible.

"No wonder he's renting his space out with strangers. I mean, no offense meant, Daiki-kun. But Ryo would do everything to be able to buy that house back even if it kills him in the process. His parents don't know about it. I don't know how much he's saved so far but maybe he's close that's why he's considering all his options. That, or simply because his health issues are… you know…"

Ryo received heart transplant when he was 22 years old and is practically living on borrowed time since he collapsed two years ago during his first solo exhibit. Ryo's plan really does sound ridiculous and stupid, but it also makes sense. That's probably the only way he can think to repay what his parents have done for him. After all, selling your house for your son's surgery may be an easy decision but it surely is life-changing, too.

The more Yasu talks about Ryo, the more he feels the need to go back to Osaka to stay away from all this drama. If Ryo's going to die sooner or later, he might as well not get involved with it at all.

"Ryo pushes people away because that's what he's best at, you know? But can you please take care of him? He's not so bad. And I help him as much as I can. He calls me when it's bad. And I call his mother when it's really bad, like two months ago."

Daiki wonders if he ever had someone who cared for him this much. Yasu seems to be a really good guy. Who was he to deny his request? So, even if he can't promise how much more patience he can give to Ryo, he agrees to watch over him silently.

"By the way, Daiki-kun?" Yasu says before they part ways. "Have we met before?"

"I'm pretty sure we haven't."

Yasu nods and scratches his head as Daiki walks away. Doesn't Daiki look extremely familiar?

-

Ryo's bringing his things from the living room back to his bedroom when Daiki arrives. It's 8 in the evening and judging by the smell of the house, Ohkura's cooking something delicious. His stomach grumbles. He really misses his grandmother's cooking.

He looks at Ryo who walks over the kitchen counter to take a small basket of apples. He bows his head a little and offers it to him. Daiki is confused. Who is this guy and what did he do to the Ryo he knows?

"I'm sorry for earlier. And last night as well. You can stay here as long as you want." Ryo says. "Well, as long as you pay rent of course. I expect the balance at the end of the month?" The guy is blushing, and Daiki feels the same. Maybe Yasu and Murakami-kun weren't lying after all?

"These are from Aomori. We have great apples," Ryo's still angling the basket to Daiki, expecting him to accept his offer.

Daiki smiles and takes the basket. "It's all good. Really. I'm sorry, too. Thanks for this." Well that's the word he never really says a lot. But he's been doing a lot of things he never did ever since he stepped in Tokyo so this shouldn't be an issue.

He sees Ryo flash a small smile when Ohkura breaks the ice. "Okay then. Daiki, get the table ready, and we'll be having dinner. I may have cooked too much, and I hate leftovers."

Daiki thinks Ohkura is heaven sent. He thought he'd only be having apples for tonight's dinner. He likes fruits, but surely, rice would be much more impressive. Ryo, on the other hand, refuses automatically saying he's not hungry at all.

"Well, I wasn't asking, you know. You can't live off with soy sauce and rice forever. Besides, I'm a great cook!"

Ryo hesitates. But he sits with the other two in the end. He's not used to this. He hasn't been eating well for weeks let alone with other people. Yet as he tastes the miso soup and takes a mouthful of rice with proper viand, he decides it may be healthy to allow himself to have something nice from time to time.


	7. Chapter 7

The atmosphere at the share house has changed over the month. Ohkura is starting to get fond of Daiki. He even admits to himself that he's enjoying his company. Sometimes, he still sulks about not having his own space in his 30's. But hearing the soft snores of the younger one calms him and keeps him away from his troubled thoughts at night.

He looks at his forearm and smiles at how it doesn't bear new scars. Maybe this place isn't so bad after all. Maybe, strangers are even better company than the ones he's been with for years. Ryo's still quiet as ever. He only paints from morning until night. Both Ohkura and Daiki agreed to leave him be. As long as he doesn't look like he's going to be faint of them again, he should be fine. Sometimes, he'd give in and join them for a meal when he runs out of excuses. But at least, he is no longer as aloof as before.

Daiki, on the other hand, is like the clingy little brother he never had. Whenever Ohkura agrees, he would bring home supplies from the nearby grocery so he could cook for them. It's not exactly like him to be this domesticated. But somehow, warming up to the kid helps him relieve his stress, too.

It's during one of their dinners without Ryo when he learns that Daiki has no contact with his family back in Osaka.

"But why?" That's a rich question coming from him. But it's one of the rare times when Daiki's actually the one answering questions instead of bombarding him or Ryo.

"Well… It doesn't matter, really. They can manage without me."

"Do they even know you're here in Tokyo, to begin with?"

Daiki shrugs. So, he's a runaway? Well, technically, he's old enough. But still!

"It's because sometimes, I think that they'd be better without me around. I used to try my best to understand that she's just like any mothers. But when I learned that..." Daiki's eyes narrow.

"Learned what?"

It was something terrible, Daiki said. He can't bear to tell strangers what his mother and grandmother have done in the past, but it was awful. He can only tell him that his mother never really acted like one. That his grandmother was all he had yet, he learned that she's a liar, too.

"I hate my grandmother. I used to worship the ground she walked on, you know? She was the best. But it sickens me to know that she did that awful thing only to avoid shame for the family. I can't bear her doting on me if there's someone else's life that changed because of her.

Ohkura remains silent. He doesn't fully understand Daiki's story because of the parts he chose to omit. So, he doesn't know what to say at all. What he realizes, though, is why Daiki was so empathetic to Ryo. He feels so much for others to the point of hating his own family and even himself. Somehow, he sees himself in Daiki.

"I just want a family, really," Daiki only whispers that part but Ohkura hears it clearly. And while the younger one didn't expect any reply at all, he catches the other say "Somehow… Isn't that what we are here?"

-

To be honest, Ryo feels better these days. Probably, he's completely adjusted to the fact that he's no longer alone in his house. He may have lost his job at the convenience store, but he now has more time to make art. In fact, he's been so absorbed that he's making art after art. Yasu figures that exploding in front of his housemates that night may have helped. After all, they don't bother him that much after that, too.

He exploded. He got scolded. He apologized — all good.

All is quiet in this household.

"Hoy, Ryo!" Oh no. He's dead. He hasn't gone home to Aomori in the last month like he told his mother and now his father is here. Wait, how did he even get inside without ringing the bell?

"You didn't tell me you found yourself some distant cousins. And from Aomori? Really? You make me laugh, son." Ryo wishes his father would talk some more because he still doesn't know how to answer his questions, especially in front of Ohkura.

"Since when have you had someone else here? And why haven't you visited me like you told your mother?"

Ryo's father keeps bombarding him with questions that his head is starting to ache. "I'm sorry, I was…"

"Working your ass off again, isn't it?" his father sits on the couch. "Working hard, working hard. It's all for nothing if you can't find the time to spend with the family! Right, Ohkura-kun?

Ohkura nod with a small smile. So, his father's got his tenant on his side right away. Awesome!

"Well, well. I'm just staying here for a couple of days because I wanted to check on you. Your mother couldn't come so I'm in charge of the kitchen. Please tell me this guy isn't living off with soy sauce or karaage, Ohkura-kun?" Ryo feels like he's disappeared inside the room as his father becomes more interested in Ohkura.

 

"Sometimes I think he's not Japanese enough. He's got no taste for good old Japanese food at all!"

Ryo hears Ohkura's laugh. The two seems to get along well pretty quickly. He even asks him to join them for dinner! Not that Ryo minds, though. He just feels so uncomfortable that the two seems to be having fun ganging up on him.

And when Daiki arrives, things start to get even worse.

"Tadaima."

"Oh! Okaeri, Daiki. Ryo's father is here. Join us! He made sushi, and it's really delicious!" Ohkura says.

"Hello, Daiki-kun! Come and eat. We still have a lot because Ryo-sama refuses to appreciate his father's specialty!"

Ryo is already 34 years old, and his father still embarrasses him in front of other people. This is great, really. So, he excuses himself from the dining table, declaring he's already full and goes back to his work in the living area.

"Ne, Daiki-kun, Ohkura-kun. I want to thank you both for taking care of my Ryo-chan."

"Ryo-chan isn't deaf," Ryo hisses. His father makes an incredulous laugh as he stands up to get more beer.

"Really, you young ones. You always pretend you've got it all once you reach adulthood. But in reality, you don't. You will always need your family. Ne, Daiki-kun? Ohkura-kun? And since it's the three of you here in Tokyo, you should take care of each other! I'm counting on you!" he raises a toast.

 

The three men weren't exactly expecting a litany from the old man, but they humor him anyway. Ryo's father's kind and funny after all. He's just got a lot of comment on things. But he has harmless intentions aside from embarrassing his child.

"So, tell me about yourself, young men. I knew Ohkura's really from Tokyo. How about you, Daiki-kun?" Daiki tells him everything he can. That he's from Osaka and he's just transferred to Tokyo, the whole nine yards. At one point, he gets another "you look familiar" comment from the man like when he met Yasu. It makes him feel a little uncomfortable, but eventually succeeds in brushing it off.

Is his family starting to search for him?

-

Ohkura is printing the final copy of his latest solved case's paperwork. He's about to take his cup of coffee when Yoko enters the room, grinning from ear to ear.

"This one should be easy for us, man. A few days and we'll be off to our next case. Heard the family's pretty wealthy so that might mean more money if they're generous enough."

Ohkura takes the folder from Yoko's hand and reads "Missing Person from Osaka." His heart starts to race and opens the first page. He sees a picture of a person he knows very well.

The name written underneath confirms it:

Shigeoka Daiki


	8. Chapter 8

It may be the fact that Ryo is so engrossed in staring at his blank canvass or he simply doesn't care that Daiki is staring at him while he tries to work. He decides to grab a drink and suddenly stops which surprises the younger one so he can't help but ask what's wrong with him.

"Nothing! I just wonder how come you get to paint a lot of stuff. It is amazing. Don't artists get drained like how writers get writer's block?"

Poor innocent Daiki. Of course, he gets that. It happens to him quite a lot. But no matter what, he gets something done at least once a month. Painting isn't just passion for him after all. It's his work.

"You know, we have this painting at home. I'm not really into art and all. But I like it so much. I don't think I understand it enough though, because it's abstract. I wish I could meet the painter someday and ask what it meant."

Ryo shrugs. "Well, if I was the painter, I won't tell you anyway. Art doesn't have to have a single interpretation, you know. Something so beautiful can come across as awful for others. So, don't stress yourself too much. For all I know, that painting's a bluff. Careful. You might have been scammed." Ryo almost laughs at the that. It's true- what he just said. And the look in Daiki's face is too pure.

"No way."

"Yes, way. Sorry to burst your bubble but welcome to reality."

Daiki shrugs, still looking unconvinced. "But really, Ryo-kun. I think you're an amazing artist."

Ryo tries to hide his blush by pretending to wash the cup he hasn't even used yet.

"Thanks. It's so nice of you to say that."

  
-  
  
  
  


"Hey, Ohkura-kun. Ryo-kun seems to be looking better these days, don't you think? He even talks more," Daiki says.

If Ohkura thought he's the only one enjoying living with strangers- although by now, they're not strangers to each other anymore- he was so wrong. Daiki is having the time of his life. He has a job and found some friends. And Ohkura kind of volunteered to be his family too. It's almost the perfect escape to the life he left in Osaka.

How can he take that away from this kid? And after he told him how he found out everything about Ryo from Yasu, Daiki simply can't leave him alone here in this share house.

"I think that's only because he has no choice. I mean, doesn't he work at the living room? When he's there, he is vulnerable. Like how I am when we're stuck here in this room" he teases instead.

"Really?" Daiki asks, rather unimpressed. Somehow, he's gotten used to Ohkura being snarky at times. "I don't believe you. "

He better not. At least for now, he still hasn't told Yoko that he has actually been living with their guy for months already.

 

Ohkura is risking his job to keep both of them happy and at peace.

But do all good things really have to come to an end?

-

Since Ohkura has learned that Ryo's obsessed with karaage and Daiki eats almost anything, he sets up a dinner one time and declares it as a treat for everyone. Daiki is never the one to pass, but Ryo surprisingly agrees right away this time. The man looks like he's in a good mood, too. Everyone does, actually. The house feels so light that Ohkura almost forgets how coming to work stresses him out these days.

Life at the share house is how he always wanted home to be. It's what Ohkura was exactly dreaming of after Mika left him. He just wants things to be in a nice order again, and this must be it. He doesn't want it to end at all. He just wants a simple and peaceful life. Is it too much to ask?

Why does he have to fear for the other shoe to drop?

"So, how's the work at the store?" Ryo asks Daiki. Well, it's pretty new. Ryo initiating conversions instead of merely answering with a one-liner is as rare as the blue moon.

"Oh, it's great. Murakami-kun and everybody else are really nice. I'll be having a night shift soon, though. I hope it won't be that hard to adjust. I'm not a morning person, but I really like sleeping at nights too."

Ryo laughs, and he looks so sincere. "Ha! That's one of my troubles, too. But you'll get by just fine." Daiki grins and nods. Judging by the looks on his face, he feels like he just won the lottery.

It's probably one of the longest nights the three have spent together. Before Ohkura realizes it, he's downed his fourth beer. Daiki doesn't drink much, but he didn't need a drink to be especially chatty anyway.

"Ryo, "Ohkura chimes in. "Just a question."

"Hmm?"

"Aren't you going to visit your family soon? In Aomori?" Ohkura knows right away that he's asked the wrong question when Ryo's smile fades.

"Ah, no. Not soon. Otosan just came by a few weeks ago, hadn't he? I don't want to spend unnecessarily when we can call each other anyway."

As expected, Ohkura thinks. He didn't know why he asked that. But maybe it's because he saw how Ryo's father would look at him. When he paints, or when he's not looking in his direction. He feels like his mother's like that as well- a parent who would silently watch her child from a distance.

Ohkura's willing to change the topic after that but Daiki, being Daiki, seems interested in the conversation as well. "But remember what your father said. Working hard is nothing if you don't get to spend time with your family. You should visit your parents often, Ryo-kun."

"Oh, that..." Ryo lowers his head.

Daiki and Ohkura's eyes meet, waiting for Ryo to continue what he is saying.

"I'm actually adopted. They're not related to me at all. But they are good people. They've taken good care of me since I was a baby and I love them very much. But right now, I have to do something much more important. Also spares them both for all the trouble I bring."

Daiki is so confused. Something more important than spending time with his adoptive parents? Is Ryo stupid?

He stands up. "Wait a moment. You are not your parents' biological son?"

Ryo nods.

"And they cared for you and loved you very much?"

Another nod.

"And you love them too…" Daiki inhales. "Yet you spent the last five years of your life in Tokyo. Far away from Aomori without even bothering to make a regular visit to those people who cared for you all this time?"

 

Daiki immediately feels Ohkura's hand on his arms "Daiki."

"What?" Ryo is now so confused. How did he know that? But Daiki can't be stopped.

"For what? So you can finally give them a decent house or buy back that one they sold to save your life? Well, flash news, Ryo-kun. I think your parents wouldn't have done that if it would mean you'd leave them anyway for your stupid crusade."

"Daiki, that's enough!" Ohkura doesn't know what to say anymore. But he wishes Daiki would shut his mouth right away.

"I don't get it. Don't you think they want you more than a house? Family is more important!"

Ryo's eyes narrow and he stands up, leaning closer to Daiki, so they're face to face. "Who do you think you are? How did you know all these things? What the hell is happening?" he faces Ohkura as if he knows the answer.

Then finally, although too late, Daiki realizes that he's said a little bit too much.

"I'm sorry," Daiki looks defeated. "Well, I met Yasu-kun and…"

"Yasu?" Ryo can't believe Yasu told on him!

"It's my fault! I asked him! He only obliged because he's worried about you, too. It was after you exploded on us when we're going home from the hospital. I didn't know what we're dealing with so I asked around. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude."

"But you did!"

"Ryo, don't get mad at Daiki," Ohkura tries to intervene. "He only means well. We're not your enemies here."

Ryo glares at him and turns to Daiki again "What the hell? You guys can interfere with my life, but I can't get mad? Well, newsflash, too. I can get mad anytime I want, and you have no fucking right to tell me otherwise."

"That's enough. Please." Ohkura's peaceful slumber for the night is being threatened right in front of him, and he hates it. Why does he always have to have a complicated relationship with people?

"What else did he tell you?" Ryo grabs Daiki's collar. Daiki retracts at first but doesn't know what else to do but tell the truth.

"He told me about what you do for the art gallery... and that collapse two years ago. That you're practically living on borrowed time and maybe that's why you're acting this way."

That's it! Ryo's had enough of this. He releases his hands from Daiki and takes a deep breath before talking again.

"So that's what this is. A fucking pity party! You guys know all those things hat's why you're putting it up with me, isn't it?" he asks rather calmly.

"Of course not! You're absolutely taking it the wrong way! We just wanted to be your friend!"

"I am absolutely right! I can't believe you knew all this time and no one told me. You must have been talking behind my back. Oh, poor Ryo desperately working for money before he kicks the bucket," he reenacts. "I accepted you in my home, and you were talking behind my back!"

"I am sorry, okay? It was my fault and I'm sorry. I just didn't understand you back then. So, I did everything I could, but I didn't mean to offend you in any way."

Ryo laughs. "Offended doesn't even begin to cut it. I'm sorry for worrying you. I'm sorry I don't tell my sob story to strangers as you two do. Because that's not the kind of person I am. So, if you don't mind, I'd like to excuse myself in this pity party with the people I thought were my friends. I can take care of myself so don't bother me from now on. Thank you very much." Ryo walks to his room and slams the door.

Ohkura's question has an instant answer.

 

All good things really do have to come to an end.


	9. Chapter 9

It has been two days since the incident and Ryo still isn't talking to either Ohkura or Daiki. Technically, Ohkura has nothing to do with spying on Ryo. But Daiki told him as soon as he knew and that makes him equally guilty. Nevertheless, he never thought that being friends with Ryo was a pity party whether he is ill or not. It's a shame they can't help him understand that.

Ohkura's feeling so lost. Why can't he have anything nice for once? Mika used to be a promising future but turned out to be a nightmare. And now, just when he feels like he's recovering, everything seems to be falling apart all at once.

He has to turn Daiki in soon. Ryo is closing off again. Fuck.

Ohkura angles for the blade and folds his sleeves. He hasn't done this in a long time. But he needs to escape from the pain in his head.

He pushes the blade in as he takes a deep breath.

 

Then suddenly, he hears the bathroom door open.

Had he really been so stupid to forget to lock it?

He sees Ryo staring at his hand and arm, all colors leaving his face.

"It's not what you think," Ohkura's quick in his defense. Ryo isn't moving at all and Ohkura stands up to corner him.

"What..." Ryo steps back- almost looking afraid of Ohkura.

"This is nothing, really," he tries to feign ignorance.

"No! It's not nothing. You need to get help!" Ryo's full-on panicking right now. He's never been great with people let alone a person struggling with something serious like this. Ohkura? All this time? How come?

Ohkura stops him. "Really? That's rich coming from you. Have you ever thought that maybe you needed help, too?

"Don't make this about me!"

He knows Ryo's right. This isn't about him. He's the one who's just been found in the bathroom harming himself. Who in their right minds will he think that he doesn't need help?

"Does Daiki even know?" God, no. The kid should never know. He looks up to Ohkura and he can't bear the thought of disappointing him like he did to Maru and his mother.

"No. Please. Don't tell him. I won't do it again, but please don't tell anyone, Ryo. I'll ask for help but don't tell anyone. It won't help me at all."

Ryo hesitates. He doesn't know what to do. He's been so self-absorbed, drowning in his own sorrows without realizing people around him have their own demons to deal with, too. He's really an asshole.

"Okay. I won't tell a soul. But please, you have to see someone. I'll see to it that you see someone."

What's with him voluntarily dragging himself into this mess? He's got a lot on his plate. And yet, he can't just turn the other cheek, can he? Not after all this time both Ohkura and Daiki have been there for him.

Ohkura nods. There's a sense of relief flooding him right now. Ryo won't tell a soul. He won't. And right now, that's all he has to hear to calm down.

-

Daiki is alone in the house when someone rings the doorbell and demands to come in. He doesn't know who she is. But she has this intimidating look on her face that he can't help but let her in once she said she's Ryo's mother.

"Shigeoka Daiki-kun?"

Daiki nods. Ryo or his father must have told her about him. But why does he have a feeling that she doesn't like him at all? He knows he was really nosy with that Yasu thing. But Ryo didn't seem like a person who would tell his mother about him? After all, if he did, then his plans would be busted. So, what is her problem?

"You and your friend Ohkura-kun must leave."

What? Is this for real? Does the Nishikido family think too highly of themselves that they would just order people around to leave and stay as they please? He's getting tired of this.

"Okasan. What are you doing here?" Ryo enters the house with Ohkura. It seems like he doesn't know that his mother would be arriving. This must not be about the fight a few nights ago then? It can't be!

"I was just telling your friend that he and Ohkura-kun must leave this place as soon as possible. I didn't know about this at all. And should you have told me; I wouldn't have allowed it. Have you forgotten about the rules in this building? What if the association finds out and forfeits your advanced payments? Are you out of your mind?"

This isn't exactly the kind of mother Daiki expected from Ryo. He imagined her to be a doting and well- mannered woman.

 

But she is far from that kind of person judging by the way she's acting right now.

"If you won't ask Daiki-kun to leave, then I want you to come home with me in Aomori."

"What? This is ridiculous."

Everybody, including Ryo, doesn't understand what's going on. She's definitely acting strange, Ohkura thinks. She's the total opposite of her husband.

"Okasan, you can't just order me around like that. These guys are paying me rent, and I can't just kick him, either of them, out! You're unreasonable."

His mother doesn't bother to answer him but leaves the apartment instead, leaving the three dumbfounded. A few seconds later, Ryo bows and apologizes to the two and runs to catch up with his mother.

-

He doesn't know why. But Ryo finds himself inside the shinkansen sitting beside his mother on the way to Aomori. His mother refuses to talk to him no matter how much he begs for an explanation as to why she bothered to come to Tokyo from Aomori just to speak to his housemates like that.

It's already late in the evening when they reach their home. He finds his father drinking, seemingly unsurprised to see his son with his mother.

"Okaeri."

"What the hell is happening? Why is she so mad about me renting out my space in Tokyo?"

 

His father was no good for an answer.

Ryo spends the rest of the weekend trying to knock some sense to his mother. But she never budges. She'd only tell him that it's for the best. He can't get anything else out of her or his father until he's had enough.

So, he's going back to the city. He doesn't even know if Daiki and Ohkura actually left because of the commotion, but he hopes not. He's worried if Ohkura will still continue talking to his doctor's colleague after this. And Daiki... his mother has been unnecessarily rude to him without any reason.

He is so confused. But in the end, his impromptu trip to Aomori was all for nothing. He tries one last time before leaving, but his mother says the same thing.

On the way back to Tokyo, he realizes- are they just trying to convince him to go back home?

-

Ohkura's lost in his thoughts about Ryo's mother when Yoko suddenly appears beside him. "You won't believe what I found out," he says.

Yoko has been expressing his disappointment for the lack of progress for the case they have been assigned to investigate. Ohkura usually solves this kind of thing in no time, but not this one in particular. So, he has taken the initiative to speed things up.

"Apparently, Shigeoka ran away after learning about some secrets in their family. He isn't the only son. His mother gave birth to a baby boy about 34 years ago. The grandmother took care if it but doesn't know where he might be this day. The mother married a family friend but developed depression after giving birth to her second son from another man. She was very young when she had her first, so it must be the reputation her mother was worried about that's why she got rid of the baby. I think that's the same reason why they won't bother the police into looking for the younger son if the mother's health isn't failing now."

Ohkura tries to digest what Yoko just delivered.

Young mother. Abandoned baby.

Ryo's mother suddenly turned up after his father's visit only to kick Daiki out of the house.

Could it be that Ryo is the abandoned child? Could it be that Ryo and Daiki are brothers?


	10. Chapter 10

Yoko thinks Ohkura is acting really strange. Why is he so interested in finding the first child instead of putting all their efforts into finding the real guy on their case? Looking up a non-existent 34-year old case is not what they need to focus on right now. It's unnecessary, and it's messy because they'll be digging up the family secret more. He doesn't like crossing the borderline of their work.

"No, Yoko. We need all the information we could get about the firstborn. Please."

Yoko frowns. He highly doubts that it would help the case. It's not as if Shigeoka Daiki is looking for his brother anyway? He doesn't even know the gender of the child, for Pete's sake!

Ohkura sighs, giving up. "Fine. I'm going to tell you everything I know as long as we get the information I need. I need to know who the first born is."

What is wrong with Ohkura, and what does he know? He had been suspecting that he was hiding something since they got this case, but he gave him the benefit of the doubt. However, he can't help but wonder now. Could it be that he knows where Shigeoka Daiki is?

"I know something, but I can't tell you yet.'"

How could he? This is ridiculous!

"And I know that I am risking my job here. So, please just give me some time. Help me find out who the other son is, and I promise we'll be done with this case before you know it." Ohkura looks determined as ever, and Yoko almost thinks that he's back to his usual self.

"I won't force you. But you know that only you can help me do this," Ohkura says one last time.

To be honest, Yoko isn't completely convinced. He's sure Ohkura's not delaying this case for nothing. But is it really worth it to go the extra mile?

-

The house is awkward as hell. They still haven't recovered from the last time Ryo walked out on his friends. And now, he's back in his Tokyo apartment with zero rights to be a jerk because of what his mother has done.

He finds Ohkura fixing his things, and for a moment, he panics that Ohkura's leaving the house. He can't go. Not after what he did the last time. He's introduced him to his doctor's colleague, yes. But he might not be able to check on him if they wouldn't be living in the same house. What if Ohkura gets to the point of no return?

Ryo doesn't even want to think about it.

"I'll be gone for a couple of days for work. Don't know when I'll come back yet. But I can still come back here, right?

Ryo knows what Ohkura's talking about. "Of course," he assures him. "About that, I'm really sorry. I don't know what's going on, too. My mother's not really the kind of person who'd do that. But I'll figure things out. You don't have to worry."

Ohkura gives him a small smile then tells him that he's leaving.

"Also, Ohkura?"

"Hm?"

"Have you gone to... you know..." Ryo can be straightforward when he wants to. But he's not confident in dealing with this kind of thing, so he's cautious with his words.

"No. Not soon. But it's okay. All is well. We made a schedule, and I won't miss a session. Just remember our deal, alright? I'll be off."

Ryo nods. As Ohkura leaves, he hears him welcome Daiki home. He sighs. This is the apology he didn't really want to do.

-

Ohkura walks slowly. He's thinking about the short talk he had with Ryo. He's meeting Yoko at the train station a while to get to their first destination. But he couldn't help but think about how he straight up lied to the guy. He knows Ryo means well. And that he must be scared just as how they were when they learned that he is ill. But there's no way he's going back to the psychiatrist and deal with his personal issues when he's still in search for answers.

Call him obsessed. But he's not going to stop until he learns the truth.

"I didn't know you left Maru's place." Ohkura's so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't notice Yoko approaching.

"How long has it been?" he must be testing the waters.

"A few months..." Ohkura feigns ignorance.

"And still, you forgot to tell me that you've been living with our guy since day one?"

Fine. He's busted. But Yoko doesn't sound mad. He simply needs answers, and he should give it to him now. He's got no choice. Or else, in the end, all these might be for nothing.

-

Daiki doesn't hang around the living area anymore like he used to. And somehow, it saddens Ryo. Yes, he has apologized, and Daiki accepted. But he sure as hell feels the difference from then and now. Daiki seems unsure of his actions. Like he's trying his best to be invisible. But why is it that when Daiki stopped bothering Ryo, he finally noticed him?

Maybe it's just the guilt feeling. Daiki's been a great housemate after all. Well, he still doesn't have the right to go asking people about Ryo's private life. But wasn't Ohkura right? Daiki only means well. He always does.

-

Ohkura's been gone for over a week. So, when he arrives on a Sunday evening with Yoko without letting his housemates know that he was coming, they sure seem surprised. Ohkura never really brought anyone in the house. Not even his own family even though they are also living in Tokyo.

"This is Yokoyama-kun. He's my work partner. We just got back from Osaka, actually." Ohkura cuts to the chase.

Daiki feels uneasy for some reason. Yoko keeps looking at him knowingly. And while he knows that Ohkura is a detective, it would be impossible that they heard about him, right?

"I see. Nice to meet you, Yokoyama-kun. I'll clean up here as I'm leaving for dinner tonight," Ryo saves everyone from the awkward silence, but Ohkura shuts him off in an instant.

"No, Ryo. You have to stay."

Ryo frowns just like Daiki. What is happening?

"Yokoyama-kun and I need to tell you both something important," Ohura starts.

"25 years old. Osakan. Heir to the Shigeokas and Kubotas of Japan's food industry," Ohkura throws the clear folder on the table. It bears Daiki's photo with a missing sign at the top.

"Your family's been looking for you, Daiki. And you need to come home."

Daiki sits frozen. He didn't have a hint at all. What sort of coincidence is this that out of all people, Ohkura would be assigned to his case? How long has it been since his family started looking for him? Is anyone going to knock on their door soon to ask him to come home aside from these people? Does he even want to go back to Osaka in the first place?

"Well, I don t think I need to be in this conversation. I must go," Ryo insists but Ohkura stops him, at a much calmer tone this time.

"I said you must stay, Ryo," then he turns to Daiki again. "I figured it out, Daiki. The secret of your family that you couldn't tell me. Well, Yokoyama-kun did. But I tied all the clues together. At first, I didn't understand. But slowly, it started making sense."

What the hell is making sense, Ryo thinks. He doesn't understand how exactly he is involved in this. So? Daiki is from Osaka and has apparently been missing. But he's an adult, so what? Go home already, and this will all be done!

"I simply thought that your mother was acting strange," Ohkura now looks at Ryo "I mean, she looked panicked while talking to Daiki. Didn't you notice?

What the hell does his mother even have to do with Daiki's mess?

"Daiki. Your mother gave birth to a baby boy 34 years ago."

So, it was a boy? Daiki thinks. He never really got to know the whole story. He just tried to put the pieces together, but he didn't know the entire story before he left.

"And given that you're from an elite family, your grandmother got rid of the baby to avoid controversy. She was just 16 years old then, after all. Luckily, your grandmother's caretakers had no children, so she offered them money. Then she ordered them to leave Osaka. Go somewhere North. Anywhere. Just as long as it's far from your mother. Never come back. No matter what happens. They must never set foot in Osaka again because the child is as good as dead," Ohkura continues

Ryo suddenly feels the room is getting too hot.

"The couple have been praying to have a child for so long. So they gave in. They went to Aomori and raised the child there. They were the Nishikidos" Ryo's eyes widen at that. What? He never really asked about his biological parents because he loved the parents he grew up with. Why are there unnecessary information popping up now?

"You mean," Daiki mumbles.

"Like I said. I thought it was really strange for your mother to act like that, Ryo. I mean she wasn't as persistent about me leaving or staying. But she singled out Daiki, didn't she?"

Ryo chooses not to speak. He wishes not to hear anything anymore.

"That's because she's figured it out, too. After hearing stories from your father's last visit. Didn't his father tell you looked familiar, Daiki?

Daiki nods. Not because he believes what he is hearing but because it is merely the truth. Ryo's father said that. Even Yasu.

"Now that I think about it. The two of you seem to look at bit alike. Not very much. But somehow…"

"That's enough," Ryo warns, but Ohkura won't stop.

"When Yokoyama-kun figured out why our guy left Osaka, and your mother came here, I was able to put the puzzles together. A few more calls and visits both in Osaka and Aomori and we're able to confirm everything."

"I said that's fucking enough!" Ryo shouts the same time Ohkura says, "You are brothers."

Ryo doesn't speak after that. He won't. Ohkura's probably just getting his revenge because he was a jerk all this time, right?

"Huh?" was all Daiki could say.

"Ohkura is right, Shigeoka-kun." Yokoyama finally joins the conversation. "You may not know it, but they have been searching for you for months already. And your mother is not in good condition right now. She's in the hospital. Your grandmother still doesn't know that we found you, but she wants you home as soon as possible."

Ohkura and Yokoyama haven't reported the result of the investigation yet as Ohkura begged. The Shigeokas doesn't know about how they found Ryo, either. They wanted the brothers to settle this themselves before they do. At least, that's what Ohkura hopes for.

"She's in really bad shape," he adds.

Daiki's overwhelmed. He hadn't expected anyone to look for his sorry ass after leaving his family behind. And his mother... what happened to her?

"I was thinking that maybe you two could talk this out first then decide what you are going to do. But we're submitting the report about you Daiki, first thing tomorrow. "Ohkura says.

Daiki looks at Ryo whose eyes are now glued to the floor.

"I don't want anything to do with this" Ryo says nonchalantly. "I only have one family. And they are in Aomori."

"But Ryo-kun?" Daiki mutters and looks at his brother.

"I am not your brother!" Ryo knows he shouldn't have shouted at him. But he is so damn angry right now. Why does this have to happen?

He looks at Daiki, and he immediately regrets it. But could he really take back anything he's said?

Daiki lowers his head. "Sorry. I never wanted any of this to happen," he says in a small voice. Then he looks up to Yokoyama. "Would you tell them that I'll be coming home, then?" With that, he leaves them and proceeds to his room. Yokoyama also bid his goodbye and tells Ohkura that he'll see him at work the next day.

Both Ohkura and Ryo are left standing in the middle of the room. Ohkura waits patiently until Ryo finally speaks.

"Whatever happened to not meddling with each other's lives?" he asks. It's the first time Ohkura sees Ryo cry. "Why did you have to dig up all of this? What do you expect me to do now, Ohkura?" He looks at him with pleading eyes. He's not faking it when he tells him he doesn't know what to do now.

 

And that's when Ohkura finally asks himself if he really did the right thing.


	11. Chapter 11

When Daiki arrives at the hospital, he immediately sees his grandmother. She has no idea what he's found out yet. Ohkura told him that they're leaving Ryo out of it when they make the reports, but it's up to him if he wants her to know.

No. She won't. She doesn't deserve to know about him at all.

"Daiki! Thank goodness! Where have you been?" He looks at her; worries etched in her face. Was she really worried? Why start now if she could have prevented this from happening? If she wasn't too greedy many years ago, they never have to deal with her mother being ill at all. He may never have been born. But what's the difference if he never truly had a family after all?

"How is she?" His grandmother doesn't bother to hide her disappointment when Daiki ignores her. But she obliges in telling him that she's finally been transferred in a regular room. She contracted pneumonia and had been in the ICU for three days. But she managed to pull it through.

Daiki wonders how many times his mother's going to scare him to death.

"She's slowly recovering, Daiki. Faster, now that you are here. But where have you been? We got a call from Tokyo. Have you been there all this time? What were you doing out there alone?"

Daiki has thought about this before. He didn't know why his feet led him to Tokyo. But now, he understands why.

He wants to tell her that he wasn't alone.  He hasn't been alone for the past few months. In fact, he has been with family- both Ryo and Ohkura. But what would happen when she knows this information? What could she possibly do to Ryo to protect her name?

"I just needed some air to breathe. Can I see her?" he looks impatient. But his grandmother always had a soft spot for him, so she let him go right away.

He hates the hospital. But for some reason, he always finds himself inside it because of this mother. If it's not from a bout of random illnesses like this, it'd be because she overdosed on something that she's gotten her hands on. She's been under the care of a personal nurse for as long as he can remember and he doesn't seem to see it changing soon.

"Okasan, I'm here," he speaks softly, hoping that his mother would hear him. Recognize him. He traveled all the way to Osaka the moment he knew about his mother's condition. He even left his apparent brother without any more words because he knew that his mother needs him.

He wants his mother to need him.

She opens her eyes and looks at him directly. He hates that vacant look in her eyes. He hates the fact that those eyes never really looked the way a mother should look at her child.

His mother tries to take off the oxygen mask, but Daiki puts it back in place. "My child, is that you?" she says this as she holds his face and Daiki's eyes light up instantly only for his mother to burst his bubble. "You're not my child. Where is my child?"

When he was younger, he used not to understand why she kept on saying those words. His father and grandmother used to chuck it down to post-partum depression. But when he discovered their secret during a heated argument between the two, he realized what she actually means when she's looking for her child.

All this time, he wasn't just someone his mother never recognized. His mother was looking for Ryo. Ryo, who's been killing himself ruthless to become a good son to his adoptive parents. Ryo who may have been living on borrowed time now, but got to experience genuine love from the family he grew up with.

He is so fucking jealous he wants to punch him in the face.

"Where's my child?" his mother starts to feel agitated. She coughs a little, then hacks a lung as the machines start to beep. Daiki presses the call button and steps outside.

"I need my child!" she shouts, and he hears them prepare to give her a sedative. Daiki's so tired of this. He's tired of witnessing how her mother's life's been ruined along with his.

He's so mad. But is this Ryo's fault? Is it his fault that he existed and is living the life Daiki always wanted? Daiki wonders what kind of son he is. Is he wrong for feeling so unwanted and unloved because his mother is longing for the son she truly loves?

Daiki knows what he should do. But he's finding it hard to move.

-

Ohkura doesn't know how it happened. But he finds himself walking alongside Ryo to the hospital to see his therapist. Despite Daiki being a sensitive topic between them, he still checks on him about his problem. Ohkura knows Ryo's got the wrong guy to take care of, but he probably just doesn't know yet how to act like a brother to Daiki all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry for what I did," Ohkura says while they're sitting outside the doctor's room.

Ryo may not be great with his words when he's angry. But he's not a bad person, either. Ohkura feels that Ryo's trying his best to contain his anger towards Ohkura after dragging him into this complicated situation. But Ryo's downplaying it, especially whenever Ohkura starts asking what's his plan about the kid.

Somehow, Ohkura wonders if this ceasefire is just out of pity like what Ryo accused of him and Daiki before.

"Don't worry about it," Ryo doesn't really know what else to say.

"You don't have to pick your words when you're talking to me, you know?" Ohkura wants to pat his own back for what he just said. He used to be afraid of telling people what he wants then to quit doing. His mom for always worrying about him. Maru for overprotecting him. But the fact that he can say this straight to Ryo's face is such an improvement that even he is willing to admit.

"I know you're just trying to placate me because of what you know. But that doesn't mean you have less right to be angry with me for butting in your business."

Ryo is silent for a long time.

"I just don't want to live in anger anymore, Ohkura. I already need to think about a lot of things, and I refuse to include you in it, or my head is probably going to explode."

Ohkura nods. He knows Ryo isn't doing this for him but for his own sake. He knows the feeling of not being able to sleep at night because of a lot of things going in his mind.

"I'm not saying this to make you feel better. I'm just simply tired of having to deal with complicated things. Daiki and I are brothers. There's nothing I can do about that. But at the end of the day, you had nothing to uncover if we weren't related at all."

Ryo angles for his bag and looks at his watch. "But if you're feeling guilty. The best way to make it up to me is to come here every time the doctor asks you to. I have no idea what you are going through, and I'm not going to start asking questions now. But I'm hoping that this would at least help you out."

Ohkura may not say it, but he appreciates this side of Ryo very much. He doesn't pretend to know what he doesn't know but says what's truly in his mind. Sometimes, you don't need someone who knows the answers — just someone who believes that it's somewhere out there. You simply have to find it.

"What are you going to do with Daiki, Ryo?" Ohkura knows he is pushing it, but he's worried about the brothers, too.

Ryo shrugs. "I'll figure it out. I have to, sooner rather than later. But for now, I got to go to my appointment." With that, he stands and starts walking away.

-

When Ohkura comes out of his one-hour session, he still hasn't fully calmed down yet. He wishes someone's with him because it's easier when he has to pretend he is okay. But Ryo's not here anymore. He's alone. And even though he's merely walking to leave the hospital, he just couldn't get a break.

At first, he thought it's just someone who looks like her. But it isn't.

"Mika?"

There she goes, walking happily with a man he has never seen before. Ohkura wonders if she's ever looked this happy when they were together. He looks at her left hand, holding the man's hand. Then he finds the other resting on top of a visible bump on her belly.

Ohkura feels sick. But when he goes to the restroom to empty his stomach, nothing comes out at all.

-

When Daiki comes back to the apartment, he doesn't have anything prepared to say to Ohkura, especially to Ryo. But he has a plan. Come hell or high water; he's going to bring Ryo back to Osaka to see their mother.

"She needs to see you," he doesn't beat around the bush. His mother needs to see the son she's been looking for all his life.  And while he's practically asking for a favor, he can't bring himself to beg to his brother.

Ryo frowns, but he doesn't look mad. "I don't really think that it's a great idea."

Ryo doesn't want to be an ass. He really doesn't. But he doesn't know if he's willing to deal with all this at his time. He's lived his entire life with his adoptive parents, and it feels like going back to Osaka would be the day he'd be putting the life he built with them to waste. He can't betray them.

"They still don't know the part where Ohkura-kun and Yokoyama-kun found out about you. But my... our mother is sick, and she's been looking for you for as long as I can remember. You have to see her," Daiki sounds desperate, very far from the complacent guy he knew.

"You can't just expect me to walk away from my life here and come with you just because Ohkura found out what your grandmother did, Daiki," he tries to reason, rather less aggressive than the last time they spoke to each other.

"She's our grandmother!" Daiki shouts. "My family is your family, too! And no matter what you say or do, you can't deny it!

"I do not deny it!"

Ohkura wants to butt in, but he knows that he doesn't have the right. He's already done enough by forcing the brothers to deal with the truth. He should keep his mouth shut now and stay out of their heated conversation.

"But you are denying our mother's wish!" Daiki lowers his head. "I know it's hard to process all this. I myself couldn't believe what a coincidence this is. But I am only asking you because of my mother. She's always longed for you. Our grandmother may have done everything for our paths never to cross each other's but this happened, and there's nothing else to do but deal with it! Having you come back to Osaka is the least thing that I can do after walking away on her!"

Ryo is silenced. He knows how Daiki always puts others before his own feelings. And he looks up to him because of that. But is it really that easy? Is it really that easy to accept that all this time, their mother lost her will to live because of her grandmother's doing? That all this time, Daiki suffered and lived a miserable life?

"Do you think this is easy for me? To come back here and ask for your help when I know very well that you won't want to? I hate you. I wish my brother were another person.  But what else can I do?"

Ryo feels a pain in his chest that he never once thought of feeling.

"You don't want to leave your life here in Tokyo?" Daiki continues. "It's because of the money, right? Well, I will give you the money that you need to get your parents the house you've been saving up for. But come to Osaka with me. Just let my mother see you, and I'll be out of your hair."

Ryo's eyes darken. He was never after his family's money. Is that how low Daiki thinks of him?

"You always feel like you are running out of time, right?" Daiki asks. If he only knew about Ryo's doctor's visit. If he only knew that Ryo's not supposed to be sitting in this living room right now.

"How long have you been working your ass off here in Tokyo with no house in sight? Only God knows how many fucking paintings you need to produce to make enough money for that stupid house! But I can provide what you need. I can give you anything you want if you come to Osaka with me."

There's silence in the room. It might even be possible to hear each other's breathing. Daiki wanted to end his sentence with a "please," but he can't bring himself to beg to Ryo. Not after living in his shadow for a very long time.

"Okay."

Okay? Really? Did Ryo just agree?

"But Ohkura will be coming, and we're telling your grandmother about him finding out all this. I won't stay there for more than a week, and you'll give me the money I need," he looks at Daiki, a vacant expression on his face. "And your family won't know about my… problems."

Daiki is baffled. But at the end of the day, it's still all about the money. He doesn't want to seem surprised. But he is. After all this time. He thought Ryo was better than that. But he's wrong.

When Ryo's left the living room, Ohkura carefully sits beside Daiki. He waits for a while until he hears the other's voice, filled with worry.

"I can only imagine how desperate you are, Daiki. But you didn't have to say all those things to him. You're better than that."

Daiki takes a breath he didn't know he's been holding. "Haven't you realized, Ohkura-kun? Hurtful words knock him out of his senses the most."

Ohkura didn't have to answer to let him know that he agrees. But by hurting Ryo, isn't Daiki hurting himself more?


	12. Chapter 12

Ryo wakes up way before his alarm chimes. That's because he barely slept the night before. His chest had been feeling so tight, and his medicines weren't doing their jobs. Throughout the night, he kept telling himself that he'll be fine, but no matter what he tried to do, he didn't feel any better.

They are leaving for Osaka today, and he must be at his best. He's not really going because of the money. But Daiki's also right. He's far from what he needs, and his last doctor's visit wasn't any good either.

This whole shitshow is getting more and more ridiculous. First, he posted the rent. Then, the drama between them ensued because he let them in. Then, Ohkura finds out that he and Daiki are brothers. What a great surprise! But now, he needs to face another ghost of his past. Someone he never really imagined meeting.

He's been waiting all his life for his big break as an artist. But it turns out that the break he's going to get would be from acting. He has to act like someone's child. A child to a mother who's never really been there for him at all. And a grandchild to a woman who spent 34 years unapologetically living her best life- not even bothering to look for him at least to save her own daughter's life.

What should he feel? Guilty for agreeing to take their money? Angry for giving him away to strangers? Is he excited to meet the blood of his blood?

He doesn't know. He doesn't want to know.

Ryo goes outside and finds Ohkura sitting at the dining room, sipping his morning coffee. He sees him take a good look on his pale face but says nothing. He appreciates it. Ryo doesn't need anyone pointing out that he looks like shit.

Because he already feels like it.

Just a week. Just a week then this will all be over.

He can't wait.

-

Ohkura tries to get in between the two to avoid more awkward moments inside the shinkansen to Osaka. But it can't be helped. Daiki refuses to look at Ryo while the other just follows along. Somehow, he feels like instead of linking the two together, he's torn their relationship apart. If he didn't try to find the truth, would things have been better?

So much for helping his friends out.

Daiki's on the window side, looking at the scenery as the bullet train leaves the city of Tokyo. His mind must be racing. Ohkura always perceived Daiki as this cheerful kid with all the positivity in the world. Sometimes, he's a pain in the ass. He's also quite clingy and needy. But right now, he sees none of those traits in him. He can't help but think if this is the real Daiki. If the Daiki he knew was just the person that he wanted to be. He wants to ask. Wants to know his friend more. But this isn't the right time for that. Not when everything is supposed to change 180 degrees.

Ryo's on the other aisle seat. They only have the walkway in between them so Ohkura can clearly see him sweating. He looks like he's panicking, searching for something that he can't find in his bag. "What is it?" Ohkura asks. He catches Ryo look at Daiki for a second, then he shrugs.

"Nothing. I'm just looking for something." As if on cue, a bottle drops from his bag. Ohkura tries to get the bottle, but Ryo beats him to it. He raises his eyebrow.

"I'm just going to go to the restroom for a bit," he stands up, not even bothering how he left the bag in his seat open.

-

To say that their grandmother was shocked at Ohkura's revelation would be an understatement. She is quite old. Ryo gives her that. And that's probably the only reason why he was able to hold his words back when Ohkura and Daiki were still around. But when they are left alone together, he couldn't hold his tongue anymore.

He looks around the house. It's huge. He wonders how his life would have been if he lived here. Maybe he didn't have to wait for so many years to get a transplant. Perhaps his heart didn't have to fail on him to begin with. But come to think of it, he couldn't imagine a different life either. With his adoptive parents, he felt loved. He never felt like he was someone else's son. He was content. He was happy. If there's only one thing his grandmother has done right, it was giving him to his adoptive parents.

"Is this all worth it?" he asks his grandmother. She's silent. She knows what he means by that, but she can't answer his question. She buried this mistake a long time ago. And no matter how guilty she felt all these years; she never dared to look for him. Not when her own daughter started to get ill. Not when her grandson left them because he hated her. She's always thought that loving and taking care of Daiki more than she should was enough. But she knew deep in her heart that it wasn't.

She's a sad, old, and greedy woman who knew nothing about love at all.

"Is this all worth it?" Ryo repeats. "The fame and money? Is having this kind of life so worth it that you've managed to ruin your daughter's life?

"You know nothing about this life," she hisses.

Ryo laughs. "Of course, I don't. But I heard that you were a doting grandmother to Daiki. He always gets what he wants. One word from him, and it will be done. That's cool."

Ryo tries to walk towards her, but he notices how she steps back. She clearly wants to distance herself from him. "Was it because you love him the moment you saw him? Or because he's your trophy? He paved the way for your business expansion after all. Or maybe, it's because you felt the need to love him twice as much to atone for your sins both to your daughter and me?

"You don't know what you're talking about, Nishikido-kun," she warns.

"If you say so," he grins. He slowly realizes how he actually hates this woman. "You know, it's not like I wanted you to look for me and return to your daughter when things got worse. I was very happy with the family I grew up in. But I am really curious... How has it been possible for you never to budge and give her what could help her all these years? Even when you knew it would also bring your grandchild's true happiness?" Ryo knows he's never getting an answer from this woman but being able to say anything he wants to say gives him so much satisfaction.

"You are so damn lucky that Daiki isn't like you at all. I may have just been with that kid for just a few months, but I knew what he wanted. And no amount of money you have can buy it for him." Ryo thought it was going to be hard to look at his grandmother in the eyes. But it isn't. "And by the way, you don't have to get rid of me anymore. Nobody else will know that I existed. I'm only here for Daiki. Because you never truly were."

-

Ohkura announces that he's leaving for Tokyo earlier than Ryo expected. He doesn't want to be left alone in this house, but he hasn't even met his mother yet. It's only when he counted the days that he realizes what Ohkura needed to be in Tokyo for.

"You have that... session?" Ryo still doesn't know how to address it properly. Ohkura doesn't seem bothered by his words, and he feels stupid for being the agitated one. But at least, it works. The awkwardness between them has always been saved by mutual understanding. Because somehow, Ohkura understands even when Ryo's words fail him.

"Yeah, that. And I also need to go back to work. I need to have this case all settled or else; Yoko will tear me a new one."

Yes. Yoko. He is Ohkura's guardian angel. He didn't tell their bosses that he kept the information about Daiki for weeks and it seems like they can get away with what they did after all. He is so thankful for that.  Yoko may not be the type who'd mother hen him like Maru. But he's the kind of person who simply tries to understand and silently watches over the people he cares for from a distance. Someday, Ohkura knows that he'll get the chance to make up for everything he's done for him.

-

Ryo opens the door and sees his mother lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling. He doesn't know what to say. What words should he use? How should he introduce himself? Would she even recognize him? She lost a baby.  How would she react if she sees a fully grown man in front of her saying he's her child?

"It's me." Ryo finds himself saying these words. He's not even expecting any reaction from the woman in front of him. But he sees her eyes blink, and then she turns to him.

She sees how her face turns from confused, worried, then finally, shocked.

"I'm all grown up. Your caretaker took great of your baby, too, you know? They're awesome people." Ryo feels a sense of pride every time he speaks about his adoptive parents. He's always had high respect for both of them. And not even finding his biological family would change that.

"You..." she tries to sit up to hold his face.

"Ryo. They named me Ryo."

She smiles and tears start streaming down her face immediately. "Ryo."

He nods. He doesn't know what to feel. He set aside the dream of meeting his biological family years ago. And yet, here she is in front of him. No matter how much he denies it. He's overwhelmed with emotions, too. He doesn't know what else to say.

Ryo wants to feel sorry for his mother. He almost does. But he can't bring himself to do that just yet. Not right now.

He doesn't know that his mother tried to look for him. He doesn't know how she fought against her mother's will of basically selling her to Daiki's father. He'll never know what kind of hell she went through just like how she'll never know anything about him. And he doesn't know if not knowing anything at all is fair because at the end of all of this, Daiki's the one who is suffering. And he fucking hates it.

"It may not have been your fault. But you could have done better in taking care of your other kid. She needed you more than I did. Did you know that?"

Her tears won't stop, and he's fighting with all his might not to wipe it off her face.

"You can't atone for what your mother has done by neglecting your other child and living your life like this. Why did you have to ruin Daiki's life too, if they already ruined yours?"

-

The days passed by like a breeze. Ryo's glad that Daiki's father won't be around for the rest of his stay because that's one less thing to worry about. Before they know it, it is his last night in the mansion. He is bound for Tokyo the next morning, and he can't wait to leave.

Ryo is sitting by the pool when Daiki approaches him with a drink. He gives his little brother a small smile as he accepts it, but he doesn't say another word except 'thank you.'

There's a deafening silence that both of them can't brush off.

Daiki wonders if he's going to get a word out of his brother if he doesn't start to talk, either. It sounds weird even inside his head. He never thought that the very same guy he blackmailed to get a roof under his head is his actual brother. Wasn't fate playing with him all this time?

He takes out the envelope and gives the cheque to Ryo. His brother looks at it hesitantly at first but takes it nonetheless.

"I won't pretend that I don't need this, but I'm going to apologize if this visit wasn't the one you expected from me," Ryo says. It's the truth. It's hard to ignore the fact that only Daiki can give him what he needs right now. But it's even harder just to forgive his mother and grandmother as if they did nothing wrong at all. He's still angry, not for himself but his brother. Daiki doesn't deserve to be treated like nothing when all he wanted was a normal family.

He doesn't say it, but Daiki understands what Ryo means. He thinks about what he heard when Ryo talked to his grandmother, then his mother. As much as he wanted to hate him, he realized that Ryo didn't just come to Osaka with him for the money. He needs it for sure. But judging by the words he heard, Daiki believes that Ryo actually cares for him.

They've been silent for a long time until Daiki decides that he has to come out clean for eavesdropping.

"I heard you, you know," he tells Ryo. "I honestly expected you to lash out on them given all the things that I said to you back in Tokyo. But I heard what you said and, in the end, it was all about me. I'm sorry I judged you."

He can see Ryo shrugging like it's nothing. And he realizes how Ryo is so good at downplaying everything he does.

"I don't hate you, Ryo-kun. Maybe I'm just jealous. Frustrated. I needed someone to blame, and you're convenient. But I don't hate you. I don't think I can ever hate you."

"If you really heard everything, then you now that I had a good life with my parents, Daiki," Ryo says. "It's difficult for me to imagine growing up here rather than in Aomori where I felt so loved and taken care of. So, come to think of it. It was your childhood that they took away. It's you who have all the right to become angry and rebellious. That's what they didn't realize. And I should be the one to apologize for that."

Daiki looks up to his brother and sees the look in his eyes. "I'm sorry you didn't grow up with the kind of family that I did. And I'm sorry that I don't know how to become a big brother to you. You don't deserve all of this. But you're so strong. And I'm proud of you."

He doesn't know how to respond to Ryo's words. Why is Ryo apologizing for something he never had control about? His heart is so full he could feel it's going to burst any minute.

"I had fun with you and Ohkura-kun in Tokyo, though. You guys really were like family to me," is all he could manage to say.

Until he gets another idea. "Don't you want to extend your stay here? Another month maybe?" Daiki feels the need to be with Ryo. He thinks that maybe, taking his brother here in Osaka wasn't just all about his mother but himself, too. They need to spend time together. They need to spend time together like actual brothers. Wouldn't that be nice?

But Ryo panics. "Oh, no. I can't" No matter what, Ryo's sure that he can't stay here any longer.

"Why not? We can be normal here for once. I'll show you around. Osaka is amazing, you know. You will never get bored here." Suddenly, Daiki's already thinking about all the things he and Ryo could do together. He tries to cheer him up, but his brother won't budge.

Instead, he raises the envelope he just received "I need to settle the house in Aomori. They have no idea what's going on right now, and I need to make it up to them because of that. I haven't exactly been answering Okasan's calls for the past few days. It's really complicated." Ryo knows that he is manipulating Daiki, but it's his only way out. He never really thought about coming back here after such a draining visit.

But then, Daiki has always been persistent. He knows how to get what he wants with his pleading eyes. There's a limited number of things Ryo can do to make his little brother happy. And if that includes creating memories with him, he should probably be down until he can't anymore.

"Fine, I'll let you know when I can come back. But I won't stay too long. I have a lot of things to do," he says and that cheers him up. Daiki wants to ask about the things he needs to do, but something else popped up in his mind.

"Okay! Then after that, maybe we could go to your doctor together?"

Ryo pales. Daiki doesn't really want to go there.

"I know, I may be overstepping. But don't you think that I now have the right to know what's up with you? We have resources now. We could get you the best doctor, give you the best treatment-"

"Daiki," Ryo cuts him off, and he shuts up. "You're such a pain in the ass little brother. You know that?"

Daiki blushes.

"I got it covered." he smiles and Daiki believes him. The boy trusts him that much. He's full of hope and is looking forward to the future that it probably would be hard for him to sleep tonight. Ryo doesn't have the heart to tell him about his last check-up. They're just starting over again.

"Maybe."

"Right."

"But Ryo-kun… You didn't have to apologize for not knowing how to become a big brother, you know? I think that nobody really has to know until they become one. It happens unconsciously, I guess. And I think that you're doing a great job."

"I'm happy to know that," Ryo smiles and shuffles Daiki's hair.

He's not lying. He's happy to know that somehow, this trip isn't ending like a train wreck after all.


	13. Chapter 13

Ryo couldn' t be more excited to give the present he'd been dreaming of giving his parents for the last 12 years. His mother almost faints when she sees the documents in front of her after her son suddenly appears in their living room without them knowing.

 

"You didn't have to do this, Ryo," she cries.

 

Ryo can't help but shed a tear himself. He knows that. But it never made him want to do it any less. He's always thought this is the least he could do to make them feel how much he appreciates them both. They've already given him enough, more than enough. And the house where he grew up in held so many memories that it's also hard for him to give it up.

 

"Is this why you've been working your ass off in Tokyo all these years?" his father was always the funny one, cracking jokes even he's not supposed to. It's one of the many things Ryo liked about him. It's one of the reasons Ryo stayed smiling during his most painful days. But right now, even his father can't help but be serious for once. "Because you wanted to do this for us?"

 

He nods right away. He never really had to explain much to his parents. Once he spills out a tiny detail, they get to figure it all out at once. But he knows that he is still leaving some important details about his life in Tokyo. He takes a deep breath and looks at both his parents...

 

"What is it, Ryo?"

 

"It was the reason why I wanted to come to Tokyo, yes. During the first three years, at least." It wasn't in his plan to come clean, but when he sees the way his mother looks at him, he finds himself deciding that it's finally time to let his guard down. He needs to tell them everything so that he won't explode.

 

Ryo tells them all. That he went to Tokyo to become an artist, to do what he can to repurchase his parents' house. Things were hard at first, but he managed just fine. He was store clerk in the morning and an artist at night. He even got an exhibit offer for his works. But out of his luck, his new heart started failing on him that same night. Immediately, things went downhill from there.

 

He badly wanted to go back to Aomori after that. He wanted to abandon his whole plan and just come back to the comfort of his own home. But he was so determined to do anything to get the house again. So, even if he had to swallow his own pride, he started painting for other well-known artists for Yasu's gallery and dropped his own name. He needed to do it not just for the house, but also to sustain his medical expenses.

 

If he's going, he didn't want to trouble his parents anymore. He wants to go alone. Because they don't deserve to see all of their efforts go to waste. He can't die under their watch. Not after everything they've done for him. That's why even though his doctor tells him to take it easy, he doesn't. Instead, he prays every single night and begs for just another day so that he could work something out. He continued his stupid crusade as Daiki called it. He worked his ass off until he ran out of options. And so he rented his apartment out.

 

Ryo also tells his parents about meeting Daiki and how he agreed to show up to Osaka and meet his biological family. He apologizes profusely. He repeatedly bows like a child begging for mercy after breaking his mother's most treasured china. He didn't want to do it, but he came and met her anyway. So, he bows and cries until his mother hugs him so tight he could barely breathe.

 

"You never brought trouble to us, Ryo," she says. "I wish you never felt like that."

 

His father agrees. Then he proceeds to confess that they chose not to maintain communication with his grandmother even when things got worse because they treated him as their own. But when he saw Daiki in Tokyo, they couldn't sit and do nothing. So, his mother made a failed attempt in kicking Daiki out of the house for no reason. It's selfish, they both know that.

 

But isn't Ryo selfish, too? He did whatever he wanted without considering his parents' feelings. Despite raising him like their own son and doing everything to save his life, he chose to leave them. Who is he to get mad at them now?

 

Come to think about all. They're all guilty.

 

Ryo feels his mother hold his hand tightly. "Now that you already know your family, we won't hold you back. Spend time with them if you want to. But if you ever feel like you are at the end of the line, it would be my pleasure to look after you."

 

Ryo's been feeling like he's at the end of the line since ages ago. He doesn't even know where his strength is coming from until he looks at his parent's eyes. He remembers Daiki, too. Suddenly, there's more reason to live, and he hates himself stupid that he didn't get to see that before.

 

"We just want you to be happy, Ryo. That's all we want."

 

Everyone wants to be happy. But it's not that simple to achieve, isn't it?

 

-

 

Ryo comes back to Osaka as per his and Daiki's agreement. Somehow, he feels excited. After telling his parents everything, it seems like all the weight has been lifted off his shoulders. It's easier to breathe. It's easier to smile. It's easier to live.

 

They agreed that he wouldn't be staying at the mansion. He's there only for Daiki after all. He still can't bear to see his mother and grandmother, but he doesn't mind when Daiki updates him with their mother's progress. He doesn't say this to Daiki, but he wishes that his visit to his mother did something good. That even though he didn't exactly say the sweetest words, he hopes that his mother would remember that he has another son to live for.

 

Daiki shows Ryo around Osaka. He force feeds him outside Dotonbori to avoid the tourists. That's not exactly where the locals go for the best takoyaki, anyway.

 

Ryo sees his brother smile a lot. He wants to take a photo when he's not looking, but he's not that sappy. So, he tries to keep it in his memory instead.

 

How he wishes they could stay like this for a little longer.

 

"What do you say? Isn't it better than karaage?" Daiki asks, and Ryo shrugs. No, he hasn't turned his back against karaage yet. Although takoyaki with mayonnaise is delicious that it may qualify as his second choice. Daiki smiles at that. He looks at Ryo and feels like the past few days has been the happiest of his life. He and Ryo may not have started in good terms when they went here, but he's confirmed that his brother didn't come here for the money or him. He needed closure with his biological family, too. He also needed to meet their mother to move on even though it didn't mean forgiving her.

 

Daiki's okay with that. He wouldn't want to change the situation anymore.  At least, Ryo's here. He's got a brother. He has a family.

 

-

 

Ohkura doesn't want to admit it. But meeting a professional once a week is truly helping him. True, he definitely wouldn't do it if it weren't for Ryo watching him like a hawk or in fear of Daiki knowing what he was doing. But the sessions are genuinely helping him feel better. He just wishes that he doesn't share the same building with the person who's started all this mess in his head.

 

The elevator opens on the seventh floor, going down. Tough. This is not his day.

 

"Tacchon," Mika says, shocked at sight in front of her.

 

A part of her wants to run. She's alone. But just a few minutes later, she finds herself sitting beside Ohkura.

 

"What are you doing here?" she attempts a conversation.

 

"I'm waiting for a friend. He's having a check-up," He lies. He's not with anyone. Just like Mika, he's alone too. Ryo, who could be the friend he's referring to, is in Osaka with his brother. He's probably having the time of his life in God knows where. He, on the other hand, is sitting beside the person who ruined him.

 

"I see…" Mika mumbles, unsure of what to say next.

 

They're silent for a while. Until Ohkura manages to ask what's been bugging his mind since the last time she saw her in the very same building.

 

"Is it mine?"

 

He doesn't know what kind of answer he'd want to hear. What would happen if it's his? Would he throw all his progress and come back to this hellhole of a relationship? After what Mika has done? Dumping him and running away with a different man?

 

"No."

 

Ohkura doesn't realize that he's been holding his breath until he sighs in relief after hearing her answer. The baby isn't his. He has no responsibility to her at all.

 

"But the father's gone, too. He doesn't want to be a father, it seems. He just wanted the money." She laughs. "Taste of my medicine, I suppose."

 

How should Ohkura answer to that? Should he laugh? Should he mock her until she feels the shame he did when she left him?

 

"I'm sorry for what I did. I can't even return the money to you. But please, don't file any charges. Raising this kid would be enough punishment for me!"

 

"Mika..." Ohkura looks at her. "Did you love me? All those years we've been together, did you ever love me?"

 

He's expecting to hear an excuse. But Mika says yes in a heartbeat. "Yes, I did. I truly loved you, Tacchon. But then, I was weak... I've become unfaithful. I don't deserve you." She apologizes. He even sees her shed tears. He doesn't know if those are tears because of guilt, fear of what he might do to her, or simply feeling sorry for herself that she didn't get the happy ending she wanted.

 

Does she deserve this? As much as he tries to be as empathetic as Daiki, Ohkura thinks that she really does.

 

He stands up and gives her his handkerchief.

 

"I won't ask you to give back the money. I won't bother you at all. But I do have to ask you one thing," Ohkura says. "Be a good mother to your child. That's the least you can do."

 

With that, he walks away, finally ready to forget this chapter of his life. Ready to move on.

 

-

 

Ryo's not meeting Daiki until later in the evening, so he decides to go out for a walk. What he didn't plan out, though, was walking far enough to reach the hospital where their mother's currently confined. Still, he walks to her room, opens the door, and finds no one aside from her.

 

She's looking at him. Then she smiles as if her face is going to fall off. Ryo looks at her intently. He realizes that they share the same shape of eyes. He used to think that he got it from his father. But he was very young when he was taught that it was impossible.

 

He walks closer to her. "I  heard you're doing better." He says. His mother doesn't talk much. He reckons she only muttered his name during their first meeting although he knows that she understands what he's saying.

 

"I'm glad about that. Daiki's over the moon, too." He continues. "You know him, right? You chose to ignore him all his life. But you recognize him more than you let on."

 

She looks at her hands, can no longer look straight into her son's eyes anymore.

 

"You're all he has. You're all he wanted all his life. He may have walked away on you to stay out of all of this mess. But you're also the reason why he went back here. Hell, he is the reason why I am here." He doesn't know if he can continue… his eyes blur as he holds her hand.

 

His mother's hand.

 

"But I have my own family now. And I can't stay here forever. Not for you. Not even for Daiki even though I want to. So, can you promise me to get better? Get better and be the mother that you've wanted to be for me. Be the mother Daiki always wanted you to be. That's all I ask. Can you do that?"

 

She raises her head and nods at him. He doesn't want to get any closer, fearing that he might find it harder to leave. But before he knew it, he's kissed her forehead.

 

He thanks her. He wouldn't be here if not for her after all. But doesn't have to stay too long.

 

So, he says goodbye.

 

-

 

Daiki comes rushing to the hotel room, holding his takeaway from a restaurant and a six-pack of beer. He's pretty late because of a sudden meeting in the office, but luckily, Ryo's still awake.

 

He finds his brother inside packing his things, ready to go back to his life in Tokyo after a short break. For the past few days, they've acted like brothers and Daiki could never be happier. Many times, he had to resist himself from asking Ryo if he could stay. He's given the house to his adoptive parents after all. Wasn't that all he wanted to do that's why he came to Tokyo?

 

But is he that selfish? He doesn't own his brother. No one does. Who is he to dictate what he wants to do in his life?

 

"You're here," Ryo states the obvious because he's awkward that way. He's holding a bottle of pills, one of them he just took to take the pain away. It's been happening much lately. But he shrugs it off, hoping to God that Daiki doesn't notice.

 

But he did.

 

"Are you okay?" he asks. Daiki doesn't want to start a fight, but he's never the one who pretends not to see something when he sees one.

 

"I'm fine." Ryo answers, he's the one who's good at pretending. So, he walks over his brother and sets the table ready. "Smells good," he comments.

 

Daiki wants to punch him in the face.

 

This is not the dinner that they both envisioned. Although Osaka and Tokyo are just one shinkansen ride away from each other, Daiki still feels sad. He's spent the last few months with Ryo and Ohkura every day after all. He's going to miss it. He tells him he's going to visit as much and Ryo doesn't object. But it's still is not the same.

 

They talk about a lot of things until it starts to get pretty late. Ryo shouldn't be drinking beer, but he recently discovered that it could do wonders when you're feeling like a coward. He needs to have something to blame in case he regrets tomorrow what he's about to say tonight.

 

"Daiki," he starts. His little brother's ears are on him. "I hope you forgive your grandmother."

 

Daiki looks away, clearly not interested in this conversation.

 

"I'm not saying now.  Not tonight. Not tomorrow. But I hope that you find it soon in your heart."

 

Ryo doesn't get a reply, but he goes on anyway. "I talked to her, you know? Again, recently… And I know how much she loves you. She may never be able to rewrite the past, but she's always loved you. And I know that you already know that. She's been there for you when our mother wasn't, right? And she'll be there for you no matter what. She's just waiting."

 

It takes him a long time to react, but Daiki answers him with another question instead.

 

"Yeah..." he mumbles. "And you. I also got you, right? You'll be there for me, too?"

 

Ryo smiles. "Of course, I'll be here for you. I came back here for you, remember? But," he sips from the can. "can I be honest with you?

 

Daiki nods. He's not sure if he's ready for this. But he nods nonetheless.

 

"You saw the pill that I took when you arrived? That's for the pain. I've been chugging that down on my throat along with all the other pills for the last two years to stay standing. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't." he stops and sighs.

 

"You don't really want to know about the other details. But to put it simply, twelve years is already such a long time in my case, Daiki. And it's not like I can just get another heart because this one's failing on me now. I don't want to give you any false hopes. And I need you to be ready. Who knows when? I've been counting for the last two years, and I'm still here, right? So, why would I start now? But still, I can't make any promises."

 

Daiki stiffens. "Don't say that," he warns. 

 

Ryo doesn't want to. God knows how much he doesn't want to. But since when did running away from reality becomes a good plan? Where will it take them? As much as he hates to see Daiki hurt, he also needs him ready. As much as he doesn't want to be a party pooper, he also can't ignore the elephant in the room.

 

"You were right, you know." He says. "I was so blinded by my intention of getting my parent's house back, and I chose to spend years and years away from them. Even if I knew it's me who they wanted all along." Ryo tries to change the conversation. "But if I didn't do that, I wouldn't have met you and Ohkura, right? Our paths may have never crossed at all. And I wouldn't know that I have a brother."

 

His attempt in cheering Daiki up seems to not work, so he hugs him instead. "I'm sorry I can't stay long. But you know that I want to, right?"

 

Daiki's been holding his breath this whole time. "Then do your fucking best and stay alive for as long as you can, Aniki," he hisses.

 

Ryo smiles at that, and the younger one looks confused.

 

"What?" Daiki wipes his tears. Since when has he been such a cry baby?

 

"Aniki. I like hearing that."

 

Ryo never really dreamed about this, but having a brother actually feels so nice.


	14. Chapter 14

Ryo walks to Yasu's store with a new painting on hand. It's one of the ones he's been making inside his bedroom, much to Ohkura's annoyance because he's been locking himself there these days. "This is for you," he declares, and Yasu looks surprised. "It's up to you whatever you want to do with it. Consider it as payment for all the trouble I brought."

Yasu smacks him in the head. It won't be Ryo if he doesn't think he only brings trouble to other people.

"You look different today," he comments, and Ryo blushes. Maybe it's time to come clean to his friend, too.

He tells Yasu everything. After disappearing for weeks on him, it's the least he could do. He explains how he's related to Daiki, which finally answers why he looked so familiar. He also tells him how Ohkura, his other housemate, put the pieces of the puzzle together. They're both amazed by how things conveniently were put into place in the last few months.

Yasu couldn't feel happier for this friend. It's what Ryo deserves after all the years of hard work. He's so damn sure about that.

"Yasu," Ryo speaks as he pours more sake on Yasu's glass. They've transferred to a local bar after Yasu's shift to celebrate. After all, they never really went out together even if they've been friends for so long. This is a first after so many years.

"I have a favor to ask."

Yasu doesn't need Ryo to ask for anything, really. He'd do everything for this guy in a heartbeat.

No matter how hard it may be.

-

Ohkura comes home to a very different house. The home smells so lovely. Something's cooking, karaage of course, because that's Ryo's favorite. But he never really knew that this guy knew how to cook. "What's wrong with you?" Ohkura asks.

"Good evening to you, too." Ryo rolls his eyes. "Nothing. I just felt like cooking today. Want some? Got beers in the fridge, too."

Ohkura wants to tell him off. Ryo shouldn't really be drinking. But a few wouldn't hurt, right? Besides, if he tells him off, he's only going to say that a few won't kill him so he won't bother. He doesn't like the nagging Ryo to come back, to be honest.

"Stop meddling with my business, and I'll stop meddling with yours," he would probably say.

As if they didn't do that already.

They find themselves sitting by the balcony- Ohkura with a cigarette on his hands. They never really had a moment like this. After coming back from Osaka, Ryo's been busy painting inside his room. It was pretty weird because he's practically taken the living room as his own space before. But now, even though there's still a couple of brushes and paint at the bottom of the sofa, he barely touches them anymore.

Daiki pops up every now and then whenever he can. He's taken over their family business since he came back to Osaka. But he never really forgot about his life in Tokyo. When he's stressed and feeling the pressure of being the boss, he goes here where he's the youngest. It's where he can be the needy little brother to both Ryo and Ohkura after all, and the two doesn't seem to mind it.

"Ohkura," Ryo speaks, and Ohkura looks at him. He hopes Ryo won't ask again about his therapy. He knows the guy is just concerned. But he really doesn't want to have another mother in this house. That's the last thing he needs right now.

"I never really knew what's been bothering you." Oh no. He's going at it. Ohkura thinks of a hundred ways to get out of this conversation. He doesn't want to tell his story. He knows that it's unfair given that he uncovered Ryo's private life without his permission. But he's already been talking about it a lot to his doctor, and he's not yet reached the phase where he can freely tell to people how he fell in love… fell hard. Then, got dumped in the dumbest way possible.

It sounds petty to have a breakdown from that, but it really did a number in his head.

"And again, I'm not going to start asking you now." Fine. All his worries were for nothing. Ryo isn't really a meddler after all.

"But if you're open to hearing some words from me. I just... I hope you'd stop hurting yourself and focus on living instead. Live not just for yourself, but  also for those who can't even if they want to."

Ohkura knows these words too well. He's learned to read between Ryo's lines after living with him for months.

"I know that it's not easy. It's a heavy responsibility if you think it that way. But wouldn't it be nice?" he looks at him intently. "To know that you have tomorrow at least semi-guaranteed? I have wasted a lot of my days drowning in guilt and sorrow. Walking around as if I had a death wish. But when you and Daiki came along, I learned that life's not too bad after all. I hope you see that. I'm sure there are a lot of people who are willing to help you see that, too." He smiles.

"You have to live on, Ohkura. You have so much love to give. You care about people. Life may suck most of the time, but that's just the way it is, isn't it? It's impossible to live without bumps on the road, but it doesn't mean that we have to stop living."

Ohkura stares at him. Who is this guy?

"That is the longest thing you've ever said to me. Do you realize that? Are you okay?" he asks, and Ryo laughs.

"Is it?" he shrugs. He didn't notice it. "But really. Thank you. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have known that I had a brother in the first place. And you've even been a brother to Daiki more than I have."

Ohkura raises an eyebrow. "Is Nishikido Ryo jealous of me? I'm honored," he jests.

"You're so full of yourself, Tadayoshi," Ryo says, and his face turns serious. "I'm not jealous at all. In fact, I'm so glad that he has you. I'm grateful. You can count on him, too, you know? He may be pretty annoying, but you already know that he's reliable too, right? Him and your other friends, family. We're all here for you."

Ohkura nods. "I know. Thank you."

"You'll always keep an eye on Daiki, right? No matter what?"

What's up with this guy? Of course, he'll keep an eye on that kid. Daiki may be an annoying brat sometimes, but he's a good kid. He likes him.

"Of course, idiot. Do I even have a choice?"

Ryo smiles and the doorbell rings. He stands up to get the door only to find it open with a familiar face grinning from ear to ear.

"Tadaima!" Daiki greets.

Speaking of the devil.

As usual, Daiki takes the lead in the conversation with his uninteresting stories while the other two listen to him. He talks about his mother, then his job. He talks about how hard it is to do his job properly because he used to slack off. But he takes pride in his short stint at the convenience store. When he was tight with money, he learned the essence of working hard. 

Daiki's ready go on and on about his stories until Ryo stretches and stands up. "It's pretty late, I'm heading to bed," he announces. Daiki looks at the clock. It's 2 AM already, and they didn't even notice.

Ryo goes back inside and starts picking up the brushes and paint on the living room. "Why don't you just clean up later?"

Ohkura asks while yawning, bringing the cups and plates on to the kitchen from the balcony.

"Oh! I forgot to tell you. I'm going to Aomori for a couple of weeks, a month maybe. Daiki, you wanted me to spend more time with family, right?" he winks.

Daiki's looking like a smug. "You've changed, Aniki. I'm proud."

Ohkura catches that and smiles. It feels so good to see those two get along. He feels like he's hit the jackpot. For once, he did something right. He may have overstepped in their private lives. But in the end, aren't they both happy?

For him, that's what matters.

When he's finished, Ryo announces that he's going to bed for real. He faces the two and bows his head. "Thank you," he says. Somehow, it reminds Ohkura of the day he was returning the rent money to Daiki. How long has it been since?

"You're acting weird, Aniki," Daiki comments but Ryo shrugs.

"I just had a great time with you guys, that's all," he explains with a smile that seems never to leave his face. Daiki makes another teasing remark, but Ryo doesn't bite back. Instead, he takes his leave and goes straight to his bedroom.

Daiki scratches his head "Beer's never really good for that guy. Right, Ohkura-kun?"

Ohkura thinks Ryo is being a little weird, too. But he decides against pointing it out. Maybe it's really just the beer talking, and they're just both not used to hear him speak like that.

But no matter how hard he tries, Ohkura finds it hard to sleep that night.


	15. Chapter 15

It's been almost a month since Ryo suddenly disappeared on them. After the late-night drinking and Ohkura finding it hard to sleep, both he and Daiki slept in. When Ohkura woke up at noon, Ryo's already about to hop off Aomori station to walk towards his home.

 

Daiki left Sunday that same weekend because he has work. And somehow, the house has started to feel so empty since then. Daiki isn't there to ask him silly questions. There's also no Ryo minding his own business at the living room with his paint and brushes. The difference between the two brothers is astounding. But he can't help but miss them both.

 

That's what happens when he gets too attached. His doctor tells him they have to work on that.

 

Ohkura's about to leave for work when he hears the door open. Why is Daiki here on a Wednesday morning?

 

"Come to Aomori with me?" his tone is that of a question. But with his red and puffy eyes, Ohkura immediately understands that this isn't really a matter of choice. He walks over to Daiki, and that's when the kid finally breaks down. "He's gone."

 

Ohkura hates that he's always late. He figures everything out in the end, but he's always late. He doesn't know if it was pure coincidence that the guy was all sappy and mushy on him the last time they talked. But that won't change anything, will it?

 

Now, Ryo's gone. And he's not going to be here for him to scold for bailing out on them just like that.

 

How could he?

 

-

 

Ryo's mother looks so different from the person who confronted Daiki the last time she went to Tokyo. The moment she sees him, she starts apologizing profusely, almost making a scene until Daiki leads him somewhere more private.

 

She says sorry for being rude, for being selfish. Daiki's able to put two and two together and understands that she only acted that way because she was so scared to lose Ryo. She's always wanted him by her side for as long as possible. But she's selfish for feeling that way that's why she's sorry. Daiki knows that. Didn't they all want to keep him with them a little longer?

 

He looks at Ryo's mother, and no matter how hard he tries; he can't get mad at her. When he looks at her, he only sees how pure and tender her love is. For that, he's so damn grateful.

 

"I wish you were able to spend more time together, Daiki-kun. Ryo's a wonderful kid. He'd always talk about you," she says when she's calmed down.

 

"He's so happy that he met you. He fought because of you. He tried so hard until he no longer can. You have to know he tried. He didn't want you to see him suffering. Told me that you'd seen enough of that growing up. I guess it's the reason why he went back home. I told him that we'd take care of him when he feels like he's at the end of the line already. And that's what he did."

 

Daiki doesn't want to imagine Ryo's body on the hospital bed. He hated hospitals, after all. But the thought that he's been speaking to him over the phone while he was trying his best to get better makes him sick to his stomach. He had no idea Ryo's kidneys were starting to fail, too. He had no idea at all because he's always downplayed it.

 

Why did he trust his brother so much?

 

Daiki hates that fact that the reason why he couldn't contact his brother for the last few days was because he'd been fighting for his life. Ryo's mother told him that the doctors got him back twice. But his body couldn't take it. Not anymore. He was tired. He was very, very tired.

 

_"Twelve years is already such a long time in my case, Daiki."_  he hears his brother's words again.

It hurts to accept this. Why didn't they just meet at least in the middle of those twelve years? Why did they not have enough time together? Why did he have to leave just when they've both found one more reason to keep going?

 

-

Daiki was supposed to go straight back to Osaka but Yasu interrupts his talk with Ohkura and tells them that he has the keys to Ryo's room. After hours of traveling with none of them having a decent sleep for days, Yasu opens the door, and they find a very neat bedroom.

 

It smells like paint and Ryo's cheap perfume combined. Daiki sees the nebulizer sitting atop the table. This is far from the scene both he and Ohkura saw when Ryo collapsed months ago.

 

Ryo probably knew. He knew it all along.

 

That's why he went back to Osaka to spend time with him. That's why he came home to Aomori. At the end of it all, Ryo only did what everyone wanted him to do.

 

Daiki tries to process this whole thing. Ryo's prepared him for this, after all. He never really lied to him or gave him false hopes. They both knew that this was going to happen sooner or later. But it didn't come less of a shock now that he's inside his room without him. There's a gaping hole in his chest, and he knows that it will never be filled. There's a clear feeling of absence that he simply can't avoid. Why does it have to hurt like hell?

 

He sees Yasu pull a huge canvas from the foot of the bed. The guy knows what he's doing. But he's not telling them that Ryo instructed him to do all these. He doesn't have to. They all know by now.

 

"He wanted me to give this to you," Yasu tells Daiki with a small smile. There's also a small envelope- a letter, he supposes. But he decides to read it later. Instead, he unwraps the cover and sees one of the last ones his brother has painted.

 

At the bottom of it isn't any other famous painter's signature.

 

Finally, it bears his own name.

 

Nishikido Ryo

 

"Ohkura-kun," Yasu walks to the other and gives him a manila envelope.  He opens it and reads the documents.

 

"He transferred the lease to my name?" he says out loud.

 

"It's paid for the next two years or so. This place is the only thing Ryo's ever invested in aside from his parent's property. He said to me that you're the only one who violated the complex rules, after all. Therefore, you should have this place."

 

Ohkura finds a note from Ryo in the envelope. It's a short letter, telling him to take care of the house. To never let any cockroach set its gross feet or else, he'll haunt his ass. He also has one request, for Ohkura to open this home for Daiki whenever he comes to Tokyo. It's up to him if he wants the brat to pay rent. But he's rich so he can afford it anyway.

 

"That jerk," Ohkura hisses.

 

There's an awkward silence after that — no other sound aside from their runny noses. Yasu excuses himself afterward, leaving Daiki and Ohkura alone inside Ryo's room. The more they try to think about it, the more it they feels his absence, the harder it is to breathe.

 

"How does he expect us to move forward from this?" Daiki asks Ohkura as if he has all the answers for all of his questions.

 

_"You'll always keep an eye on Daiki, right? No matter what?"_  Ohkura remembers one of Ryo's last words and knows that he's fucked. He can't leave this kid alone. He's family. Ryo practically entrusted his brother to him. And he agreed. There's no turning back.

"I don't really know. But we'll figure it out, okay?" Ohkura ruffles Daiki's hair as the younger one nods. "We'll figure it out."

 

-

 

Daiki carries his brother's gift for him to his bedroom, thinking about all the very few times he and Ryo discussed art. He remembers mentioning to Ryo about his favorite one and realizes that he's never even shown it to him. But who cares, anyway? He's got a new one, and it's from him. What else does he need?

 

He remembers the note that he hasn't read yet. So, he puts down the canvas and sits down on his wingchair to read what Ryo wrote. It's short, probably shorter than Ohkura received.

 

Daiki,

 

Thank you for not taking the rent money that day. If it weren't for you, I'd have probably died without remembering that family is the most important thing in the world.

 

Please take care of yours. Love them twice as much.

 

For the both of us.

 

Ryo

 

"Tadaima" he hears a voice that he hasn't heard before. When his mother speaks, it's usually out of desperation or anger. But today, it's soft, like an angel. He wants to hear it over and over again.

 

He looks up and sees her staring at him, eyes glistening with tears. His grandmother is wheeling her, and they're both smiling.

 

"Okaeri," Daiki says.

 

Finally, she's home.

 

They're all home.

 

-

 

Ohkura's been busy cleaning up the share house for the past three days. Well, he can't really call it share house anymore because both his housemates have evacuated. But he's kept Ryo's set of futon inside the cupboard for when Daiki decides to crash his place.

 

He still zones out whenever he thinks of Ryo. But his doctor says that it can't be helped. The guy made an impact in his life more than he will probably care to admit, so it's okay to mourn for him a little longer.

 

But this house, he's going to take care of it. Ryo wants him to start his new life here, after all. But he's made it clear to himself that he's not doing this for Ryo. He's doing it for himself. Because he wants to be happy. He deserves to be happy.

 

His phone vibrates, and he sees a message from Maru. "Karaoke tonight?" he asks.

 

"Game," Ohkura replies.

 

He's done pushing people away, he decides. He's going to let the people who love him in. Because life is short and he doesn't have the time to be miserable.

 

Ohkura takes his phone again and dials a number. After a ring or two, his mother finally answers. "Okasan," he says, "when will you come and visit my place? I need to give you that hug that I promised."

 

He cleans and cleans until he finds the box of the blade he'd been playing with that day. He stares at it for a long time. He opens the box and takes every piece out of it.

 

He thinks about his friends and family. He thinks about himself. How lucky is he to have semi-guaranteed tomorrow?

 

He throws all the blade in the trash can.

 

It's the first step. He's decided to live on.


End file.
